Journey- A Chicago Med Fanifc Sequel!

Chapter 83

I have finally finished my shift, and Natalie and I are sitting down in the doctor's lounge. 

"What are you going to do about it?" she asks me, referring to the Ava situation. "If it was me, I would be furious that he keeps going off to see his ex. Of all people, his ex?" 

"He's just like that," I say, sighing. "He always has to have a cause, and when he doesn't have a cause, he has to go out looking for one." 

"Ah, so he always needs someone to...look out for?" Natalie asks me. "And that person is Ava, I presume?" 

"Yes," I say, nodding. "That's exactly it. It's like...he has this need to constantly be looking out for people, it's like...too much." I sigh. 

"Yes, I can see that," she agrees, nodding. "But it won't always be like that. Ava will eventually get over whatever it is that she's going through, and it will get back to normal soon enough."

"I don't know," I say, sighing. "It's just that...I said all of this crap about how I didn't think that he cared about me, but I don't know, I just said it to get his attention, and maybe make him see. I thought he would get it." 

"But then he left to go after her," Natalie reminds me. "I guess that isn't what you wanted to happen." 

"It's not, but I guess I have to be fine with it," I say. "This need to help people...it's his thing. I can't change that, even if I want to. It's just like you said, it will go back to normal soon. He'll help her out with whatever, and then it will be fine." 

"Exactly," Natalie says. "I guess you just have to wait it out. I don't know how you're so okay with it. If it was me, I would be mad at him. I mean, it's his ex."

"I trust him," I say, hoping that it's true. "He wouldn't do that. That's the one thing I know." At least I'm reassured of that. 

"Why don't you try talking to him?" she suggests, shrugging. "You say he doesn't get it, right? So, make him understand. Tell him all of this."

"I can't," I sigh. "I've tried. My big, humiliating confession just now? It didn't exactly work how I intended it to. That's why he's with her right now, and not with me." 

"What are you going to do?" Natalie asks. "If you don't think that you can talk to him about it, what are you going to do?" 

"I don't know," I say. "It's always going to be something, with us. There will always be something. I guess that's Ava."

"Tessa," Natalie says, stopping me mid-sentence. Her voice sounds serious. 

"What?" I ask, suddenly feeling as though I'm in an interrogation room. 

"Are you happy with him?" she asks. "No judgement, but are you?" 

"Yes, of course I am," I protest. I don't even know why she would be asking that. "I'm so happy with him." 

"Okay," she says, nodding. "It's just that, you seem to be having a lot of problems lately. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong, but you don't seem as happy as you used to be." 

"We're just going through a rough patch, that's all," I say, quietly. "We'll get through it, we always do. I'm happy." 

"Okay," Natalie says, smiling. "I just wanted to make sure, that's all." 

"I am happy," I say, again, trying to insist that it's true. "It's just, this whole thing with Ava, it's got me thinking about some things." 

"About what?" Natalie prompts. She genuinely seems interested in this. 

"I don't know, I'm probably overthinking it," I say, sighing. "It's just that, when we got back together, it was because I couldn't pay rent. It gave him a chance to swoop in and be the hero, and help me out." 

"Right," Natalie says, nodding. "But that's just who he is, like you said? He likes to help people out, right?" 

"Exactly," I say, nodding. "He wanted to help me out. He saw a chance, and I don't know...I can't help but wonder if that's the reason we got back together? Because he wanted to help me out." 

"And what's wrong with that?" Natalie asks. "Isn't that a good thing, that he wanted to help you out?" 

"Not necessarily," I sigh. "I just wonder...did he see me as some sort of...project? Someone he needed to help out, and then when I'm finally doing okay, he can just basically ignore me and move onto his next cause?" 

"I've never thought of it like that," Natalie says, truthfully. "But then again, I don't know what it's really like with you two. If that's what you think, then maybe you're right." 

"But I don't know what to do about it," I say, deflated. "I don't know how to get him to...see me again. As a person, this time, not just as someone he's just helping out."

"I know you said it wouldn't work, but why don't you try talking to him, but really try. Sit down, tell him it's serious. Don't let him leave you when his ex walks past." 

I let out a small laugh at that last part. "When you asked me if I was happy?" I say, suddenly. "I told you yes, right?" 

"You did," Natalie confirms, nodding. "You said you were happy with him." 

"I really want to be," I say, sighing. "But I don't know. I don't know if I am." 

"I think you should talk to him," Natalie advises, kindly. "You two were strong, and you definitely still can be. I mean, he did almost propose to you before you left!" 

"He did," I say, nodding. "But that was the old us, before everything changed. Before I moved away. I don't know if things have been the same since I came back." 

"Talk to him," Natalie says. "You'll feel better for it, trust me. It will get better. You two will be back, stronger than ever, I can feel it." 

"Thanks, Natalie," I say, smiling. "Thanks for the advice. You're right, maybe I will try and talk to him." 

That was a lie. I can't talk to him about this. I know that for a fact.