wrong number- dreamwastaken

thirty- four

i soon begin to get frustrated with him not leaving, but he won't budge. after 10 more minutes of him knocking, i grumpily get up and stomp downstairs. i open the front door and say,

"look i swear to fuck, can you stop. leave. i'm giving you 2 minutes to get off my property or i'm calling the cops. now go." i sternly say, my anger building.

"alex please, don't do this. communicate."

"no." i say, "two minutes." i remind him, slamming the door in his face. but he gets his foot in the gap between the door and doorframe.

"alex please, please think this through, you aren't thinking straight."

"i have thought this through." i roll my eyes.

"no please, help me to understand while your doing this" clay pleads.

"you heard exactly why when you were SPYING on me."

"look, i'm sorry for that, you seemed off, i was making sure you were okay, and i should've left but i didn't."

"ok. bye now." i wave him off, hinting to him to move his foot.

"no." clay says.

"move. your. foot."

"no. look i may seem like a dick for not moving but i swear to god alex if i am not talking to you, or if i don't know your ok, then i will lose not only you, but myself aswell."

"no you won't. you will be better off, now i'm giving you one last chance to leave before i call the cops." i warn. he sighs and moves his foot, as he turns away.

i can't help but feel bad, but regardless, i shut the door and don't look back.

i know, it's a bit rude, but i can't keep having him banging on my door. it's breaking me just as much as it is him.

i sigh, a sigh of relief. i can tell he didn't want to leave, but he sorta had no choice but to leave.

an hour later, my phone starts buzzing again. all being clay, except 2. one from mexican alex and one from nick.

- alex
hey american alex, clay is like, going crazyyyyyy and i was like 'dude chileeee' and he was all like 'alex, alex isn't seeing me' and i was like 'tf' and he was like 'u wOuLdnT uNdersTand' and i was like 'pissbaby'
and he yeah so like he has a fat crush on u and he being annoying abt u even tho ur mine
but like get him to stop hes like bashing his own head in for sum
-
-nick
boi open da door okay ima snitch but like clay is like on the pathway outside ur house
i like left but im snitching but like talk to him
or hes gonna like go more nuts so js give him blue ones
or sum
idk but like
talk to clay
—

i read both alex and nick's messages and can't help but be curious if clay is outside still and if he is beating himself up about it, so again, i look out the peephole.

clay has his back up against a street light, his legs lazily infront of him. his face is clearly tear stained and puffy.

i groan. i feel so bad. i wanna go help him. i wanna go give him a big hug. i wanna cuddle him. i wanna tell him it's okay. but i can't.

i do feel as though i need to talk to someone though, but i've learnt from my mistakes. not to vent to people, even those who i call friends. i've had my fair share of those fake bitches, so i go back to my bedroom floor and sketch in the sketchbook i left.

i sketch random drawings, my music playing on a speaker, not that loud though. for a while, i forget about all my worries, until i put the pencil down and everything comes rushing back, bringing in reality.