forty- five

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i wake up before clay, so i just play with his hair before getting up and making my way to the front door. i leave a note on the inside of clay's door before shutting it.

'gtg, see u soon <3
- alex'

i go outside and hop into my car, driving off home with the biggest smile on my face. god you fucking idiot. he will leave you. the thoughts come rushing back.

he will leave me. it's bound to happen. he has hoes, a whole fandom that wants him. what if he ends up falling inlove with a fan (lmao)

i make it home and flop onto my bed. i pull out my phone and debate sending clay a text.

-
i love you
-

i decide to show some love/ affection to him since he's missed out on it because of me. i notice it reads seen. then after a few moments, still no reply. just seen. too soon?

fuck i'm an idiot.

a few minutes later i hear a knock on the door, then it pushed open. i meet clay at the bottom of the stairs and he takes a breathe of relief.

"what the fuck?" i ask. he connects his lips with mine and we kiss for a few seconds.

"i thought you killed yourself."

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