"Never had a nigga who protects me,
Everyday with you is like a blessing.
Never had a nigga show me love,
Never had a nigga I could trust, no."
#1- beyoncé hashtag
#1- nickiminaj hashtag
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"As soon as she pulls up, i'm going over there. Momma she got me all the way messed up. She took my baby and I didn't tell her to. Why would she do something like that?"
"You still won't tell us the full story."
And i'm not. There's no need to.
"She just came and took her."
"It's alright momma. She won't even tell me the full story."
"Stop talking drug dealer. You still haven't told us about your little bullshit." Damn. Lauren shouldn't have said shit. She know Momma don't play. "Onika you have this blue jean suit on and heels...what are you gonna do?" Since when have clothes stopped me? I'll beat a bitch butt naked.
"Beat her ass with my heel if I have to. I'm getting my baby today, I don't care."
"Why did you have to take on my attitude?" Momma facepalmed and walked away. Oh well. Im watching this window until Beyoncé pull up. I don't care if I gotta burst into her mothers home. Im doing whatever for my baby. She don't even fuck with them like that. Be for real.
"Why you all dressed up anyways?" Lauren stood beside me. I have plans after this to celebrate getting my baby. In my eyes. It's really just a party.
"Because after this i'm going out tonight. Momma cursed me out about not bringing Amora over here now she see why. It's been two fucking weeks and Beyoncé hasn't answered a call nor text. Dumb bitch. And Aniya's birthday is tomorrow, she better stop playing with me."
"Well...get ready cause there she go."
I wasted no time to take my heels off. It wouldn't really be a good idea to go out in them. I'll go bare feet, don't matter. Lauren was right behind me as I ran across. Daddy came out too but i'm not worried about him. He's against what i'm doing, as always.
Before I could lay a hand on Bey, I was grabbed. She just stood there like it wasn't shit. Like she didn't take my baby and won't let me see her. Acting like i'm some bad ass parent.
"Daddy let me go!"
"Chill out babygirl. This can all be resolved over an adult conversation."
"She didn't converse with me when she took my baby for nothing!"
"Be the bigger person love."
"Fuck that! Beyoncé where my baby?"
"In my mama house."
"Go get her! She don't even fuck with these people for real and you know that! Why you leave her with them!?"
She sighed before walking in the house and I pushed Daddys hands off of me. I'm pissed off and I really wanna hit her ass. Stupid ass. She always doing something to hurt me. No matter what it is. It's like she want me to act out.
"I don't see why everybody always on her side."
"Babygirl you won't tell us the full story so we don't know what to do. All we know is that we don't want our daughter fighting like this."
I shrugged my shoulders and watched the front door of Tina's house. As soon as the door opened I walked towards it. Bey had Amora in her arms and I reached for her. She came to me in no time.
"Mama!!!"
"Hi baby." I went to turn around but my arm was grabbed.
"Onika-"
"Fucking touch me." I yanked away and kept walking.
"Stop please." She grabbed my waist and I wanted to elbow her ass. I sighed heavily before turning to her. Her face was calm and soft, but I don't care for that right now. "Can I have a kiss?"
"You can't have shit from me." I walked towards my mommas house. I'm not up for no type of conversation right now. Haven't seen my child in two weeks, she don't matter. She the last person I wanna see.
"Why won't you talk to her?"
"Daddy please leave me alone right now. Y'all asked for her and just got on my ass about not bringing her over here. I get her back and y'all worried about everything I got going. Please. My blood rushing and I need to chill." I sat on the couch and hugged Amora to my chest. She just laid there and let me kiss her face.
My baby misses me. But as soon as she sees my momma, she's gonna switch up. It's cool, as long as I know she's somewhere that she would wanna be. Happy.
She had to see me get pushed by Bey and all that came back to my head. It really made my blood boil more, if that's even possible. I'm really pissed.
"Calm your body baby." Momma wiped my head with a towel while I kept my arms around Amora. Hopefully i'm not squeezing her too tight. I just don't wanna let her go. Aniya and Jace are gonna have a fit when they see her. They've been asking about her because usually she's standing in the window when we go pick them up from school. "Stop breathing so heavily and take deep breaths."
I tried my best to do what she said but I just couldn't. My leg started bouncing and my face got hot. I'm about to cry. Momma knows. I get like this when i'm really upset.
"She's about to cry." Momma got up and I tried my best to hold it in. "Come here baby." She sat back down and pulled us into her. I let my tears fall in her chest and sniffled. Amora sat up quickly and looked in my face. I don't think she's ever seen me cry for real.
"Mommy."
"I'm so tired Momma. It's always her. I've been trying so hard and it's like nothing is good enough."
"When you start feeling like that is when you need to let go baby."
"I've tried. From the beginning. But you know she always popped up and basically forced her way back. Anytime i'm over here she was coming. She'll pop up at my house just because she know she can. I'm tired of this with her."
I rubbed Amora's face and pushed her curls back. This isn't fair to her, at all. She's only one. She won't remember this but still....
"Change that house code and send it to us in case you forget it."
I nodded my head and gave Amora a kiss. She smiled at me and it made me smile. My baby is so beautiful.
"I'm staying home tonight." I wiped my nose and eyes. This ruined my vibe for going out. I'm staying home with my kids.
"Good. Take some time to collect yourself and calm down. Get back to your normal self baby. Do you."
"If I do me, she go really be mad."
"That don't mean start calling them baby fathers of yours Onika. Take time you yourself. Be alone for sometime. Discover the feeling of being by yourself. Trust me you'll find a new version of yourself my love."
She's right.
Even though I was single for those few little months, I was still calling my baby fathers. So technically I wasn't really single. I haven't been alone and single since before I got with Damien. It's been a long ass time. That's not good.
"Understand me? Find Onika...nobody else. You're a mother of three children. I'm not knocking the way you do things, but do better baby."
