Stephen Mulhern one shots

Alone

TW Sad stuff and mental,physical bad stuff

Stephen's pov

I woke up with a start turning to face the red letters on the clock 2:41 great i don't think i will be going back to sleep.I tried and tried to sleep but i couldn't so i got up to take a shower.

The water was warm when i stepped in it felt nice and relaxing something i didn't feel for a while.Then what felt like a wave crashed over me everything was cold,fuzzy and alone i hated that feeling.My hands were shaking when i turned the water off i was craving something but 

i didn't want to go back to that.Then the thoughts started to come i subconsciously reached for my razor  and took the blade out.

Tw part skip if needed

i brought the blade down to my arm it felt good the pressure in my chest was leaving after every slice i felt even better.

Tw over

I watched the blood go down the drain and i felt ashamed.I don't get to do this when i have friends that care about me and i go and do this again alone and useless.

I walked out of shower to get bandages if ant or dec finds out about this they will hate me and if they find out the others would to the girls might pity me david would make fun of me for being pathetic and simon might fire me and that can't happen i love my job.

 I hate feeling alone everyone has someone but I don't.I go to work do my job,joke around with ant and dec,have david embarrass me and so on.

After putting band-aids on i looked at the time 2:54 i might as well try to get to sleep well with some sleeping pills god knows i won't be able to fall asleep on my own.

Stephens pov over

After swallowing some sleeping pills stephen crawled into bed ready to put what happened a little while ago.It won't be totally behind he will have the scars to remind him and will most likely be alone forever.

But for now he does have friends he cares about even if they don't really like him that's all he needs for now.