Assassin to Assassin [Narry]

Chapter 19.

Harry

Nadine and I have our backs rested against the edge of my bed, our knees pulled up to our chest as we sit next to each other. I'm clutching my legs together but she's holding a pregnancy test that reads two positive bars and shows that's she's seven weeks pregnant. I can't stop staring at it. It's ruined my life. That tiny stick that she's holding has ruined my life. I can feel myself beginning to shake. With anger, with hatred, I'm not sure. I'm not sure what I feel at the moment. All I know is that I'm confused.

"But we...we used protection." I remind her, giving her a baffled look.

"I know, but they can break." She shrugs and I frown.

"Did you not think of using those birth pills?"

Nadine gives me a stunned, offended look. "Harry, do you know how many side effects those things have?! Besides, I didn't think I'd need to use them. We were safe in the first place anyway," she reasons and I groan, burying my face in my hands. This just can't be happening. Not now, not with everything going. Not with Louis still in the picture.

Nadine presses her hand against my arm and says, "I'm not asking anything from you. You can be as involved as you want. I can move back to my parents if you want me too."

___

I stare at the ultrasound picture Nadine has sent me. It's from last month and her next scan is due soon, that's why she sent me this one. This next scan isn't just any other scan. It's the day we find out whether we're having a boy or a girl and I know Nadine wants to know for sure what she's having. But I'm not ready. Heck, I'm not even ready to be a dad. I'm not that kind of person. I don't want a family. I don't even want a girlfriend. Loving Nadine should've never have happened. It was a mistake.

What kind of dad would I be anyway? I'm a bad influence, not a good role model at all. My kid won't be able to celebrate Father's Day because I'll never be there. I won't be able to see my baby's first steps. I won't be able to hear their first words. Because I'll be working. For the rest of my life, I'll be working, fighting, killing. My unborn child will have a criminal as a father. I can't live with myself for that.

I hold the scan picture between my fingertips and I sit in the exam same spot, the exact same position as I did when Nadine told me she was pregnant. I suppose it's a bit of déjà vu. The door is pushed open and I'm interrupted of my thoughts and Louis stands in the doorway. He's back from Doncaster, looking as good as always.

"I was gonna order some pizza, do you want some?" He offers and I shake my head. He pauses when he's about to leave.

"Are you okay, Harry? You're shaking." He states and I sigh and pull myself up from the floor.

"I'm going out, don't wait up on me." I instruct him and he nods hesitantly, watching me leave.

I drive to Cassandra's home and park outside. I enter the house and make my way to the basement. There's nobody there. Biting my lip, I head up to Cassandra's office and ask her to hire somebody. She immediately obeys and I go back to waiting on the sofa in the basement.

About forty five minutes later, I'm greeted by what looks like a male model for Hollister. He's dressed in white Calvin Klein briefs, his large hands palming his bulge lightly. He's tanned. Beautiful, sun-kissed golden skin. He's buff and muscular and he has light, feathery brown hair and matching chocolate brown eyes. His lips are a plump pink and his jaws are chiseled into perfection.

"Lie down on the bed." He instructs huskily. Oh, he's Australian. Even better. I do as I'm told lie in the center of the four poster bed, watching him stroll over as he closes the door.