Under Control

Ch 38: Reconnected?

Amilia pov:

I woke to the sound of beeping, my body felt heavy and ached. Everything was blurry when I first opened my eyes, it took a couple minutes to register where I was.

It was a hospital?

"You're awake." Azrael's voice caught my attention. Turning my head in her direction I saw her give a small smile, paying with the box in her hand.

"What happened? Where am I?" I tried not to panic but it grew harder when I could tell that this wasn't a hospital.

"You're safe, you overdosed on pills." She sounded upset. It slowly came back to me, the truth of what I did, running away, taking the pills.

"Oh god… oh god…" I panicked, the heart monitor sounding out louder as I tried to remove the tubes in my arm.

"Stop moving. Stop!" She held my hands and stopped me from moving. My mind flashed to Mike holding me down, the same words leaving his mouth.

"Get off me, get off me." I slapped her hands away, crying and weakly trying to get away. She looked confused but I didn't care, I didn't want to be touched.

"Amilia what's-"

"I fucked up." My voice broke, cracking as I cried harder.

"No you didn't-"

"Yes I did. Look at me, look at what I did to us." I wept harder, wiping tears from my face with shaky hands.

She didn't say anything, she jusy listened and waited as I cried to myself. How could I be so foolish, so stupid, I should've never left.

"You really scared me." Her voice shook, she sat in a chair beside the bed. She rested her chin on clasped hands, trying to hold her composure.

"I'm sorry. I know I keep saying it but… I don't know what else to say." My tears burned down my face, landing onto my hospital gown.

She reached out slowly and took my hand into hers, rubbing her thumb over my knuckles. For the first time in a year I felt okay, just feeling her touch me so gently was so calming.

"Why'd you leave?" She couldn't look at me, I wanted nothing more than to see her eyes.

"I had too…"

"Why?" She sounded frustrated, like she was holding herself back from exploding.

Mike knows I'm gone so it'll be no surprise that Donny would know I'm here. Everything must come out eventually, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life regretting not telling her.

"Donny… he said he'd hurt you. He blackmailed me into trying to help him. H-he'd go to the police or my uncle… he even tried to get me to spill your group's secrets. I couldn't let that happen. So I left." 

The air was tense, we were silent, only the sound of the monitor filling the room. She lowered her head to my hand, her shoulders shaking as wetness gathered on my knuckles.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Her voice cracked, her emotions getting the better of her.

"I couldn't risk it. He would have done it either way. It'd be better if I wasn't around to give him info." I cried with her, biting my lip to try and make my voice even.