i wrote like 500 words but wattpad didn't save it for some reason
internally cries
i can barely remember what i wrote 😓
"Ah, Ena . . . . you're not awake yet? Girl, it's kinda been four days. This is starting get ridiculously dramatic. You can wake up now. You fooled me soooo badly,"
Mizuki told themselves that they were talking to Enanan, but they were really just trying to fill the silence that hung over the room like smog after Amia had left them in the fabric room with Ena.
Before they went, they said something about double checking the borders. That kid was an absolute nerd. Mizuki couldn't understand half the things that they said, even though they loved to put on the show pretending that they did.
As book smart was Amia was, they didn't know how to talk to or read people, often coming off as cold and unfriendly.
That was Mizuki's fault.
Just like it was their fault that Ena was lying on a makeshift bed/pile of lace and cotton after she almost died.
Just like it was their fault Ena even came here in the first place.
They should have left. If they weren't so selfish, they would have.
They should have apologized to Kanade and left the fucking music group as soon as they saw Ena's face, so similar to Amia's.
That was the first warning sign,
but there were certainly many more that Akiyama had missed.
It was so stupid when they thought about it.
Why did they instantly feel attached to her just because they shared a face with an avatar in Mizuki's sekai?
It didn't make any sense.
Ena was nice, but also a bit resentful.
For some reason, that made Mizuki love them even more.
That didn't make sense either.
Why did Ena even go through the effort to invites her on all those dates?
Mizuki wasn't special, except for how specially and thoroughly they managed to mess things up their s—
They cut themselves off before they could finish the thought.
No use in dwelling on the past.
The person Mizuki was thinking about was gone, and they weren't coming back.
Why was it that every time that Mizuki got lucky, fate came back for them and took their happiness away?
Why were the entertaining plaything of fate?
Did fate laugh at them every time that they cried over stupid things?
Did fate initiate all those stupid little things that they cried about, even if they didn't matter?
Nothing mattered.
What was it called again? Something beginning with . . . .
Right. Nihilism.
In that moment, Mizuki realized that they would live by those words. Live every single fucking day over and over again.
Mizuki—a nihilist.
Nothing really mattered.
Not anymore.
Words: 460
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🗝 Mizuena - Why Did You Leave Me All Alone
Fanfiction(lore) so mizuena but m has a sekai and sorta commits murder+suicide
