Homestar Saga

Chapter 4: Public Relations

"I can't believe they stiffed us." Yvian glared at the message from the Confed Militia. Such was her indignity that she forgot to revel in her first time docking her shiny recently renovated ship.

"Of course they stiffed us," said Captain Mims. The human leaned back in his chair, legs crossed, hands behind his head, more relaxed than she'd ever seen him. "They're the trelg."

"Isn't that a little racist?" Lissa asked. "I thought a human of all people would be sensitive about stuff like that."

"I'm talking government," Mims explained. "Not individuals. The Confed Military is run internationally, but Militias are law enforcement run by their individual nations. The trelg government is famous for screwing over foreigners. That's why non-trelg companies don't do business there."

"Then why'd we go there?" Lissa wondered. "And why did we risk our asses to save their stupid shipyard if you knew they were going to screw us?"

The Captain shrugged. "That's where our client was. Since we had to save her anyway, getting paid for it's just good business. Remember, a privateer..."

"Never does anything for free," Yvian finished, rolling her eyes. The Captain took her apprenticeship seriously. He was an excellent teacher, but he never got tired of repeating himself. Yvian, on the other hand, got very tired of it indeed.

"And gets paid as many ways as possible." the human continued. "Screwing us out of the Rescued Property Reward doesn't change the fact that we made bank. We captured more ships in a day then most privateers ever get."

He had a point. Even after buying and personalizing her new vessel, Yvian had more money than she thought she'd ever see in her lifetime. "I still say we should go back and kick Captain Tharn's ass," Yvian groused. "If that motherless son hadn't lied in his report..."

"They'd have just found another way to screw us," the human pointed out. "And it's Admiral Tharn, now. They promoted him for heroism in the line of duty or some such."

"You've gotta be kidding me," Yvian protested. "He didn't do anything!"

"There ain't no justice in space, kiddo." Mims mused. "Just pirates and privateers."

"What does that make Tharn?" Lissa asked.

"Pirate." Mims stretched, yawning. "Confed cops always are." A clang reverberated through the ship as The Wandering Lady, formerly known as The Pantydropper, docked at Hysek Station. "Alright, ladies. We're here. Might as well get this over with."

They walked down to the cargo hold. Two hundred and three cryo pods awaited them. Mims had talked Yvian into letting them out at Hysek Station because A: that was their intended destination before slavers had attacked their passenger transport, and, more imporantly, B: it was on the way to Prisna III.

Mims had put Lissa in charge of Public Relations, and asked her to make arrangements for the prisoners. Captain Shade hadn't bothered keeping any of their effects when he took their ship, so they would wake up naked with no property. Lissa had used the Captain's money to purchase a self adjusting voidsuit and a set of underclothes for each of them. She'd also set aside two hundred and three credit chits worth twenty thousand each. Yvian had been sure the human would balk at that, or at least argue, but he'd just signed for them and walked off, muttering to himself about chump change.

As Lissa fiddled with the controls for the first pod, the Captain put on his helmet. When Yvian suggested the rescued might find that intimidating, he reminded her that the last prisoner that woke up and saw a human had pointed a gun at him. After trying to claw his eyes out. Yvian tried to come up with a pithy response, but had to settle for an annoyed grunt.