Homestar Saga

Chapter 49: Technically the Truth

Knifehands was unable to put his ceremonial robes back on with his broken shoulder. Nobody offered to help. In the end, he settled for draping the things over his good shoulder as he sat down behind his desk. He did not speak again for the rest of the Performance Evaluation. Now that it had been decided that Yvian and company were officially krog and wouldn't be killed, Yvian relaxed a little. Only a little. They were still in a place where lies could be detected, holding secrets that could get them and their entire species killed. Crunch, the Captain just had a knife fight with one of the Masters that held their fate in their hands.

Oddly, Yvian hadn't been that nervous watching the human fight for his life. Mims had stressed over and over how dangerous and unpredictable knife fights could be, but the thought of him getting hurt never crossed her mind. Knifehands had the weight advantage. Mims had been unarmed. The poor krog never stood a chance. Yvian had been training and sparring against Mims for months, and she had yet to land a hit on the motherless son.

Once Knifehands was back in his original place, the Grandmaster slammed his steel orb onto his desk again, making the familiar gong sound. "Now Knifehands done being dumbass, Performance Evaluation get done. Master Fightsmart, you Battle Master. Say what done."

Master Fightsmart pushed a button on his desk. A blue orb of light appeared above it. "Yes, Grandmaster. Month eight, day 25, 1320 hours, Klaath Incursion start. Fightsmart invoke Patriot Protection Act, call for help. Blockhead respond. Say she bring fighty ships..."

As the Admiral spoke, a holographic display appeared above the platform Yvian was standing on. The display took up most of the space in the amphitheater. It shifted as the Battle Master spoke, showing sensor readings and other pertinent information as Fightsmart narrated the battle. The krog paused when he reached the part where Mims handed over control of his fleet.

"This Mimsey-cake fleet." The display showed a list of ships. "Four destroyers, four carriers, twelve battlecruisers. Twenty four frigates. Three hundred twenty one fighters. All Capital ships got Jumpdrive."' There was some muttering at this. Jumpdrives were relatively new technology, and very expensive. The Confed Military hadn't even started using them yet.

"How Mimsy-cake get so many Jumpdrives?" one of the other Masters asked. Yvian recognized her as one of the ones who'd been yelling "kill the human" a few minutes ago.

"Venturetech," Mims explained. "I own the company." The Board muttered some more. They seemed impressed. Another fifteen minutes was spent grilling the Captain on technical details on the fleet and how he deployed it.

Once it looked like all the questions had been answered, Fightsmart said. "Moving on. Mimsey-cake fleet protect Jumpgates. Krog Militia attack Klaath RingGates. Not enough to hit all. Mimsey-cake, Blockhead, and Prettypants take one cruiser, two frigates, and own ships and attack last RingGate..."

Yvian thought she'd be bored listening to the Admiral rehash a fight she'd already lived through, but she learned some things she'd been too busy to notice during the battle. The fight had been even more desperate than she'd thought. Two of the Militia fleets had been destroyed before they could reach the RingGates. Fightsmart had used Jumpdrives to bring most of the Captain's fleet to one Gate, and launched a new push using every ship he deemed fast enough. Every cruiser, frigate, and fighter moved at maximum acceleration, desperate to shut down the Rings before the Queenships could enter the system. The half attacking the closer Ring succeeded, but the other half didn't get there in time. Eight Queenships emerged from the last RingGate. Their powerful beam weapons turned the fleet into a cloud of debris in minutes.

Fightsmart ordered the remaining capitol ships to group up and abandon the Jumpgates. The remaining frigates and battlecruisers joined them. They linked up with the few remaining Militia forces and made straight for the Queens. Admiral Fightsmart knew they wouldn't be enough to defeat a single Klaath Queen, let alone eight. He sent them anyway. It was all he could do.The fleet plowed through the void, their combined firepower more than enough to decimate the resistance thrown up by Klaath Destroyers and their entourage. It didn't matter. As soon as they came within two hundred thousand kilometers, the Queenships opened fire.