Homestar Saga

Chapter 5: Tact and Diplomacy

"Let's go sell some textiles!"

Yvian cleared the dock and thumbed the accelerator. The Wandering Lady leapt into the void. Mims and Lissa exchanged smiles as Yvian programmed the autopilot to head for Prisna III.

"You're feeling chipper," Mims remarked. "Nice night?"

"The nicest." Yvian leaned back in her chair, eyes closed. She remembered soft skin and subtle perfumes. She let out a contented sigh. "Maybe the nicest I ever had."

"I'm impressed, Sis," said Lissa. "I never imagined you'd find a girl on your first night out. Wait." She peered at Yvian. "Was she a prostitute?"

"No!"

"Gold digger?" Mims suggested.

"Shut up." Yvian rolled her eyes. "For your information, she's a travel broker. She's got her own money. And I'm perfectly capable of getting laid on my own. I am, as your boy toy pointed out..."

"Man toy," Mims corrected.

"As your boy toy pointed out," Yvian continued. "Quite hot."

"You do know you're not going to live that one down, right?" Lissa smirked at the human. He shrugged. She turned back to Yvian. "I'm still surprised. Your people skills suck."

"Nonsense," Yvian asserted, head held high. "I am a master of tact and diplomacy."

"Yeah she is," Mims agreed. "Hey, remember that time she threatened to shoot me?"

"Which time?" Lissa smirked.

"All the times." Mims reclined with his hands behind his head. "So how'd you meet this girl?"

"Well," Yvian started, "I was getting a drink when this asshole flerg came up and started getting all grabby on me. I told him to back off, and he got pissed. I ended up breaking both of his arms."

"There's that tact and diplomacy we were talking about." Lissa grinned.

"I kinda thought the night was ruined," Yvian continued. "But this girl came up to me right after. A fellow pixen, no less. A strib." The strib were a pixen ethnicity. Where Yvian had light blue skin and emerald hair, stribs were hot pink with hair of silver. Their eyes were slanted, and their pointed ears were a little longer. In all other respects they were the same, with the beauty, grace, and overactive sex drive that made pixens so loved and hated by other species. "She was impressed how I handled the guy. She was even more impressed when she found out I had my own ship."

Mims coughed into his hand. "Gold digger," he coughed again.

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes at him. "Anyway, we got to talking, and then I gave her a tour, and then one thing led to another..."

"We know the rest," Lissa told her. "You guys were so loud we could hear you on The Encounter."

"You get her contact info?" Mims asked.

"I sure did." Yvian grinned. "I think I'll call her tonight, in fact."

"Good for you," Mims glanced at his console, then shot bolt upright. He cursed.

"What is it?" Lissa asked.

"Did anyone do anything to piss off the Confed last night?" Mims focused in on his sensor readings.

"I don't think so," Yvian said. "Why?"

"Because there's a Militia patrol following us." The human fiddled with the sensors. "Looks like they undocked thirty seconds after we did."