Homestar Saga

Chapter 113: Cunning and Brave

"I don't understand the point of this." Scarrend Scathach completed his three hundredth pushup without effort. Even with Yvian sitting on his back, his breath was slow and even.

"Strengthen the body, strengthen the mind," Yvian repeated the platitude Mims had given her once. The human had put her in charge of Scarrend's fitness training. Mostly, she suspected, to get the Vrrl used to taking orders from people he usually saw as food.

The Vrrl continued his pushups in silence, thinking. Finally he shook his head. "I don't know what that means."

"You complain a lot."

The Vrrl released an annoyed growl. His chest, and by extension Yvian's butt, vibrated. "They're not complaints, pixen. I am asking for more information."

"It is a human expression," Kilroy spoke. The Peacekeeper unit had insisted on being present whenever Yvian and Scarrend were in the same room. She didn't know if the Captain put him up to it, or if the machine had been doing it on his own. She'd decided to take it as a sweet, protective gesture, and not at all as a sign that he didn't trust Yvian to keep herself alive. "It refers to the phenomenon by which humans and other meatbags improve their resistance to physical, mental, and emotional distress by subjecting themselves to intense physical activity. The physical distress such exercise causes forces the nervous, respiratory, and cardiovascular systems to adapt and improve, and forcing themselves to feel discomfort increases pain tolerance, emotional fortitude and self control."

"I smell," said the Vrrl. "Thank you, Peacekeeper unit Kilroy."

"You may call this unit Kilroy," said the unit. "Yvian's teaching abilities are substandard. Assistance was required."

Yvian glared at the Peacekeeper. His eyes gave a brief flash of yellow. She wanted to object further, but she knew he was right. Yvian had never taught anyone anything before. She wasn't comfortable explaining things. The fact that her student was a hundred sixty kilogram killing machine that might eat her didn't help.

Not that Yvian was afraid of the Vrrl. Of course not. She was wearing her armor, now. Scarrend had his own, with retractable claws and a sleek design that made him look even bigger and leaner and more predatory than he'd been before. It was the exact color of freshly spilled blood. The enhancement features in Vrrl armor were similar to hers, meaning their strength would be equal and the claws wouldn't do him much good. Fighting in their armor would be a matter of skill, and she could take him apart. Probably. So she wasn't afraid. Of course not. Her adrenaline didn't spike every time the beast let out a growl. He wasn't intimidating at all, the motherless son.

Kilroy did have a point. Yvian should probably at least try to explain what they were doing. "We've spent the last few days establishing a baseline for your abilities. Strength, speed, endurance, that sort of thing." All of which had been ridiculous. The Vrrl could run seventy kilometers in an hour, and he kept that pace for two hours before he needed to stop. His lower arms could bench press eight hundred kilograms, and his upper set could bench twelve hundred. He had a ten meter vertical jump, and he could sprint across a tight rope without so much as a wobble. The more she saw of what his kind could do, the more she was amazed that humans had managed to beat them without resorting to weapons. Mims had mentioned once that dedicated martial artists were more dangerous than he was. She was beginning to believe him.

"Now that we have that," she continued, "We're going to try to push your limits. We'll have you exercise at maximum intensity to break down your muscles and strain your lungs. Your body should be forced to adapt, rebuilding them stronger and increasing your capabilities."

"Interesting." The Vrrl considered. "Why?"

"Lots of reasons," Yvian told him. "One of the biggest parts of martial arts is just strengthening your own body. You want to be able to hit harder and faster than the other guy, and you don't want to tire out before he does."