Homestar Saga

Chapter 19: Analog

"Lissa, what's our status?"

Captain Mims stared out the viewports, hands clasped behind his back. The Jumpgate grew larger as they approached. Lissa pulled herself out from under the third console terminal. She tucked a tool back into her tool belt. "We're clear, Captain," she said. "I've disconnected all monitoring systems in the bridge and the kitchen."

The Captain nodded. "Yvian?"

"I've had drones go through the ship. They didn't find any Xill surveillance devices." Yvian checked the scanners again. The Quig and its escort were still keeping pace, but they hadn't taken any action. If they noticed the pixens spy proofing the ship, they didn't seem to care. "Hey," a thought popped up. "Why aren't we disabling the monitors in the whole ship?"

"Safety," the Captain shrugged. "If something happens in the engine room or the cargo bay we want to be able to see what's going on. We do most of our talking on the bridge or the kitchen anyway."

"What about our quarters?" Lissa asked.

"There aren't any in the quarters," the human told her. "I want to be able to take a dump without anyone watching me."

"What makes you so sure they hacked us?" Lissa asked.

"The Vore," Mims explained. "Exodus knew what we called them, but we only made up the name a few days ago. Besides, the Xill are famous for hacking systems. They're the reason ship systems are separate from comms unless you manually enable remote."

"Hmm," Yvian hmmed. "I would think an SI would know better than to make that kind of mistake. Aren't they supposed to be super smart?"

"It was intentional," the human said. "He wanted us to know."

"What makes you say that?"

"Nothing he says is idle." Mims ran a hand through his hair. "The SI of the Singularity Wars knew humans better than humans do. They could read micro expressions, predict behavior, manipulate responses. It was practically mind reading. He knew exactly what we'd do, and what to say to get what he wanted."

"So he was playing us through that whole thing?" Yvian didn't like the sound of that.

"Not just us," Mims guessed. "I don't think the other Xill know what he's doing. Most of them are barely able to communicate with us. I'm pretty sure the bastard's playing his own game."

"What about the other SI?" Lissa asked. "Didn't he say all the human made ones joined the Xill?"

Mims shrugged. "No way to know. Maybe they're in on it or maybe they don't have a clue."

"So is he just playing us, or was he trying to tell us something without alerting the others?"

"No idea," Mims admitted. "Exodus the Genocide was the most subtle and dangerous of all the SI. He wants us to think he's on our side, but..." He shrugged.

"Why are we working with these things?" Lissa wondered. "You know we can't trust them."

"No choice," Mims told her. "The Xill are desperate. Exodus threatened to destroy our species more than once. We either help, or we watch a war of extinction."

"Do you think they'll honor the deal?" Yvian asked. "If we win?"

"They'll play us straight until they get what they want," the human asserted. "After that, who knows?" He pulled out his helmet and put it on. "Suit up, ladies. We hit the Gate in four minutes."

"These suits suck," Lissa complained. She settled a helmet over her bulky Confed void suit. "Why aren't you in one, again?"

"I only have two low-tech suits." Mims told her. "Exodus said something's shutting down all nanotech in the sector. The GR17s are made of that stuff. If mine locks up, I'm counting on you two to get me out before I suffocate."