Homestar Saga

Chapter 68: Abomination

"I have secured a deal with the Oluken." Mondi Starlost had been negotiating for nearly three weeks before he commed them with the good news.

"Oh, thank the Bright Lady," Lissa approved.

"No, thank me," said Mondi. "Mims, do you have any idea what you almost did?"

"Me?" asked the Captain. "What'd I do?"

"The Oluken had no idea the Confederation was a slave state," Mr. Starlost told him. "They nearly cut ties with us when they saw the specifications for the implants."

"Huh." Mims grunted. "Can't say I blame them."

"Don't take this lightly, human," Mondi warned. "The medpods we get from the Oluken are the most profitable thing in Venturetech. They account for nearly forty percent of our revenue." A brief pause, then he continued, "They are also the source of four thousand, six hundred and eighty two lawsuits brought by medical industries. We are rendering most of their products obsolete. Between them and Unatco, we might be looking at a Corporate War on a scale never before seen. Any sign of weakness could set it off."

"War between corporations?" Yvian frowned. "Wouldn't the Confed Military crack down on something like that?"

"The Military does the bidding of the wealthy," said Mims. "If the rich want to fight, they'll stay out of the way."

"Exactly," Mr. Starlost confirmed. "Right now, we have too much money and too many ships for the other companies to risk a confrontation. If that changes, if there is even a hint that we might be vulnerable, they'll descend on us like frat boys on a passed out pixen." He cleared his throat. "Pardon the expression, Ms. Kiver."

"No need," Lissa told him. "Sounds like an accurate description."

"My point," the CEO continued, "is that the Oluken are very sensitive about this technology, and losing their cooperation will be a catastrophe that could doom the company. Do not," his voice turned stern, "fuck this up."

"Aw, come on, Mondi..." the Captain started. Lissa elbowed him. "I mean, Mr. Starlost. Have you ever seen me fail a mission?"

"I've worked for you for decades, Mims," the CEO pointed out. "I've known Chroniclers that were less good at pissing people off."

"I'll be on my best behavior," the Captain assured him.

"I should hope so." The CEO sighed. "Ms. Kiver, will you please keep an eye on him?"

"Don't worry, Mondi," said Lissa. "I'll make sure this goes smooth."

"I would appreciate it." The comm pinged as the Venturetech CEO sent over a data packet. "Give the data packet I just sent to the Oluken representative. I've included the time and coordinates. And above all, do not anger the Oluken."

"Thank you, Mondi," said Lissa.

"Happy to help, Ms. Kiver." Mondi Starlost almost sounded like he was smiling. "Venturetech takes care of its own." He ended the transmission.

Captain Mims donned his helmet. "Alright, let's go."

The Random Encounter was too well known to risk taking into Oluken space. Elements of the Federation government were still hunting them, and even civilians would try to kill them if they saw Mims. Instead they took one of the captured Gladiator class fighters, which Yvian had renamed the Lady's Mercy. Yvian had advocated for taking one of the battlecruisers, but Mims had vetoed the idea. He said they didn't want to draw too much attention. Still, Yvian supposed they wouldn't be helpless. The Lady's Mercy had the same capabilities as the Random Encounter, and it was better armed with human energy weapons.