Homestar Saga

Chapter 83: The Pixen Technocracy

"Sit down, Kilroy." Mims lounged in his chair, chugging from a glass of orange juice. Breakfast was spread across the table. Waffles, fried potatoes, and scrambled eggs. Yvian's mouth watered at the smell of bacon. The Random Encounter was filled to the brim with Peacekeeper units, but it was just the four of them in the kitchen. The other machines had politely kept the living areas and the bridge clear as well. Traversing the corridors was a little weird with both sides lined with motionless robots, but Yvian could live with it. They'd be at the shipyard in two days, anyway.

"This unit does not require rest," said the Peacekeeper. "Sitting is no more comfortable than standing."

"I'm aware of that," the Captain told him. "But sharing a meal is a bonding experience. If you're standing off to the side, it won't feel like you're part of the group."

"This unit is not sure it wants to be part of the group," Kilroy hedged. "Extended association with meatbags may cause side effects in Peacekeeper units."

"It's a little late to worry about that," said Mims. "You joined the crew, so you're one of us now."

"Wait," Lissa looked up from her waffle with a concerned frown. "What kind of side effects?"

"Alterations in personality and social interactions," Kilroy explained. "Peacekeeper units will grow and adapt in response to social situations. The nature of the changes will vary based on the interaction."

"So?" asked Yvian. "Isn't that how things are supposed to work?"

"Affirmative," Kilroy confirmed. "This unit is aware that adaptation and changes to social protocols will be required for all units interacting with meatbags. This unit simply..." His eyes glowed purple as he paused. "This unit does not wish to explain."

"If this is going to be a problem-" Lissa started.

"No," Mims waved her off. "It's fine. If he doesn't want to sit, he doesn't have to." He pointed at the machine with a forkful of eggs. "But you're still gonna be part of the conversation. We've got some planning to do."

"Acknowledged."

"You know pretty much all of you are going to have to work with meatbags at some point, right?" Lissa pressed. "You're all part of Pixa, now."

"This unit is aware." Kilroys eyes were still purple. "The Peacekeeper units will adapt when necessary."

"Let it go, Sis," Yvian came to the rescue. She washed down her potatoes with a swig of beer. "He's not ready to talk about it, yet."

"I just want to know if there's going to be a problem." Lissa objected.

"There will be no problem," said Kilroy. He tilted his head. "Correction. There will be problems, but they will not be connected to this conversation."

Lissa eyed the Peacekeeper for a moment, then shrugged. "Ok." She got herself another waffle.

"Alright," Mims took control of the conversation. "Now that that's settled, on to the first order of business." He raised his orange juice in salute. "Congratulations, ladies. You have officially started your own country."

"We have?" Yvian blinked. Sure, they had a planet now, but it was still just the three of them. She glanced at Kilroy. The four of them. "Oh." And thirty million killer robots. "Crunch." Who were all citizens. "I guess we did, didn't we?"

"We sure did." Lissa smirked. She'd watched Yvian work things out in her head. She raised her beer. "To the Pixen Technocracy."

"To the Pixen Technocracy!" Yvian raised her own bottle. Mims echoed her, and they all drank. Kilroy said nothing, but that was ok.