22. mica

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"Duchess Ackerman- I apologize for taking so long to formally introduce myself to you," the three of us sat inside a large greenhouse full of exotic plants, a notably empty table in between us.

i thought we were meeting for breakfast-

"It wasn't exactly the time for that," what little warmth that she had displayed earlier seemed to have receded.

well that makes sense

she was worried about her son

and now she's just wondering why i'm here

"Mother-"

"Stay out of this Levi-"

STAY IN THIS PLEASE- SHE'S SUPER IMPOSING I MIGHT MELT AWAY

"I know you won't believe this but I really didn't do anything to your son-"

that is such a lie

"-I didn't switch our bodies."

"Are you being trained as your father's heir?" The Duchess asked a completely unrelated question.

what...

"Wh- I mean yes, yes I have been," I paused. "I had to take a small break in my lessons to attend events in the capital."

not to mention- my father's health has been in decline

"Good," she appeared to be closely studying my expression, "you've seen my son's collection?"

how did she hear that-

"I have," I glanced awkwardly at Levi who looked equally confused.

"And?"

"And? It's impressive, the Duchy must be prosperous."

as if i couldn't already tell from the massive castle

"Levi, thoughts?"

ON WHAT

"What the fuck are we talking about."

"Language."

"What are we talking about?"

"Lady Y/N seems perfectly fine," she addressed that comment towards Levi before turning her attention back to me, "I'm inclined to believe that all this time my son was lying about your personality."

oh he definitely was- i'm spectacular

"Don't be swayed by her-" Levi frowned.

"Don't do that to her face-" the Duchess turned and started fussing over my body, "I don't think you're ever going to find someone like Lady Y/N again- competent, interested in your hobbies..." she trailed off.

WHAT IS SHE SUGGESTING

"You should hurry while she's still available- I'm sure she receives hundreds of letters from potential suitors- your window is limited," she glanced over at me, an excited glint lighting up her eyes.

oh-

"I'm not interested," Levi muttered stiffly.

neither am i to be clear

but-

i do love nothing more than making his life difficult

"She's right Levi- I've told you this before."

actually duchess ackerman everyone assumes that your son and i are a thing  so anyone who's interested in me avoids me like the plague

"Lady Y/N- call me Kuchel, the title makes me feel old," she smiled, clasping my hands in hers. "Have you eaten yet? I'll have them bring in tea."

"Alright Kuchel," I beamed over at her, "I haven't eaten yet, tea would be lovely."

"My son lied about you," she turned and frowned at Levi, "she's lovely."

AHAHAH TAKE THAT LEVI

i actually think that if your mom knew how we really are she would strangle me

thank god for my irresistible wit and charm

"Your mother is an incredibly intelligent woman," I moved my seat closer to Levi's, "perhaps you should seek to learn from her?"

"Fuck no."

"How rude- she's your mother."

"Levi- you have a lot of work to do," Kuchel shook her head, "I thought you knew better."

your son is a blind fool who doesn't know how to treat beautiful women properly

there was a time where i blamed this on you but-

i've quickly come to realize that that's just a personality flaw he fostered by himself

"I do know better," Levi scoffed.

"You know I was worried that we wouldn't get along- but you're really wonderful," I beamed over at Kuchel, rolling my eyes at Levi.

"I apologize, I had only heard of you from my son," she smiled affectionately over at me.

and we all know he's a bastard

come to think of it-

kuchel doesn't really attend events does she?

i heard that my mother used to be somewhat of an important figure in the social world of the capital before she married my father and then-

but that makes sense- members of lower nobility face more pressure to attend social events and raise their standing in high society

whereas people like the duchess have more freedom to choose which activities they attend

my family is only a rank below levi's i can feel the difference just sitting here

i guess the pressure to attend events also stems from being painfully neutral

i say we abandon neutrality and become hermits

"Can I ask you something? It might be a rude question so-"

"Anything you want," she nodded eagerly.

you really don't want to give me free range i'll go crazy

"Is there a reason you don't attend events? I don't think I've ever seen you outside of a few royal balls hosted when I was younger," I trailed off.

it feels weird for someone who's supposed to be affiliated with the royal family

"Ah-" she chuckled a little, "I thought it would be something more difficult to answer."

"She's making room for me dumbass," Levi grumbled, suddenly interested in reinserting himself into the conversation.

"Oh," I frowned, "why?"

"It's not like I can easily succeed her if I just sit on my ass," he rolled his eyes, passing me a slice of cake. "What kind of person do you think I am?"

a horrible one

"You actually do things?"

"Have I not been trying to make a deal with your father for the longest fucking time?"

"Oh, well that honestly didn't really feel like you were doing anything- more like harassing me out of my inheritance."

"I was not 'harassing you out of your inheritance' I was attempting to form a partnership with your family."

SAME DIFFERENCE

"You two get along well don't you," Kuchel hummed, smiling over at us, "I'll leave you alone."

WHAT FROM THAT INTERACTION MADE YOU THINK WE WERE BESTIES

"Don't-"

"Please no-"

"Cute," with that the Duchess excused herself from the table and Levi and I were alone.

SOMEONE SAVE ME

______________________

kuchel remains my number one baddie of all time

- ami

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