entangle (levi x reader)

68. actinolite

"Aside from switching bodies with my former nemesis turned guy I guess I'm friends with nothing out of the ordinary has happened," I tried to think of anything weird happening before the body-switching incident. "I wouldn't have even learned about the whole me dying as a child thing had it not happened."

i could barely remember what had happened

and my memory was warped

none of the important details were there

"You shouldn't have switched to begin with," Hanji frowned, "I can't tell if you're incredibly lucky or unlucky."

lucky

"Can I tell you something?" I glanced nervously at the bedroom door, half expecting Levi to walk through at any moment.

"A secret? Of course," Hanji leaned forward.

"I think I died," I thought back to the events of that night. "I don't think I was supposed to survive."

levi saved me but-

it doesn't add up

i was pushed

i don't- i don't want- to believe that he's the one who did it

but then- who did?

"Supposed to?"

"I didn't just fall into the water- I was pushed-" I hesitated, "and I know that I died- I felt it."

im almost certain that i did

whether it be during that moment or in the hours that followed

i drowned

"That makes more sense," Hanji sighed, mulling it over deeply. "Then you're very lucky."

"Right? I think so too."

"Do you know who pushed you?"

"Not really," I hesitated, "I used to think that I knew but I'm not sure anymore- I'm not even sure I want to know."

if he really did do that-

has everything up to this point been fake?

if he did it then i'll have to wonder why he did it

and i don't want that

i don't want to know

"I understand," after a moment of hesitation, Hanji reached over and gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"Don't tell him," I paused, "he doesn't know and I don't want him to."

it'll only make things more complicated

"I wasn't planning on it, your secret is safe with me."

"Thank you," I took a deep breath, centering myself, "where were we? What else do you want to know about?"

feels good to talk about it

"I'm wondering if you'll have a physical reaction to the forest now that you're back in your body," Hanji muttered. "You could only hear it before- perhaps now you'll be able to feel and see more."

im not sure that's a good thing

"Is that a theory you want to test?"

"You won't be in any real danger," she picked Mr. Squid off the floor, settling him in her lap, "perhaps we should wait for him to wake up to try anything."

yeah it would be alarming for levi to wake up to BOTH OF US gone

might be funny tho

kinda

"I shouldn't be- but I'm a bit surprised that everything went so smoothly," Hanji studied my features, "I was worried that you wouldn't grow up properly."

yeah i was thinking about that

"I'm going to have a long conversation with my father."

how desperate was he that he sought out hanji for a solution that wasn't guaranteed to work

weirdly-

i feel very loved

"You're owed that at the very least," Hanji chuckled, "he's aware of the circumstances of your death more than I am- it may benefit you to fill him in on everything that just happened."

probably but-

"I'm a little worried that sharing that will kill him," I half-joked, staring down at my hands, "he's been ill for a long time."

levi said we could fix it

"He's lived through worse," Hanji shrugged, stroking the cat, "I'm sure he would like to know- and I would benefit if he felt indebted to me for a second thing."

"He could be indebted to you for a third thing," I looked up at her, biting the inside of my cheek. "You brought me back from the dead- surely-"

"Y/N-" she cut me off, her tone cold, "I like you so I'm sure you already realize this- your father wouldn't accept my help even if I offered."

you're right

"But I-"

"Surely you would be better off spending time with him than begging for me to create a miracle."

"You've done it before."

"After years of research- I know very little about whatever illness he has."

"Isn't there something-"

"I'm sorry if I was your last hope but-" Mr. Squid lept out of her arms and began rubbing against my legs. "If anyone is going to help him its going to be you, I can't give you the answer to everything."

she's right

"You know I-" my voice hitched in my throat, "I had accepted that there was nothing I could do-"

"But someone gave you hope."

"Yeah," I nodded, "he did."

"Maybe you still have time," she muttered.

"Is there anything you could give me? A painkiller even-"

"Give me some time to think about it."

we don't have time

"Alright," I nodded.

"I think I heard something from the room," Hanji glanced over at the shut door, "go on."

ok-

"Thank you again-"

"Don't mention it."

"Ok-" I excused myself, preparing to face Levi.

ive spent my entire life up until now looking at his face-

it isn't going to be any different

just a little less disturbing-

My hand hovered over the doorknob for a second before I gathered myself and pushed it open.

"Y/N," Levi stared at me, mouth slightly agape.

"Levi."

"It worked."

"It did," I nodded, unable to control my smile, "we're back."

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one away from chapter 69 <3

-ami