Behind the scenes... (ENGLOT)

Chapter 22 || Can we turn back?

Charlotte's pov:

I sat by the window like always just to watch the same car drive by everyday, of course I know the owner of the car but I will never make myself known.
All-though I did miss the owner of the car I wait for everyday, but I stand my ground to heal.
I could never let her back in when it would break me, I know it's wrong for me to completely cut her out but can I really blame myself when I couldn't handle the things she did.
Yes we could have fixed it by talking it out, but at the same time everything resolved to arguing, I wish I had been in her arms right now... but I don't get that until I heal.

Engfa and I never broke up, it was more a silent walk away. It's at the point where I don't know what we are, but it's okay cause one day we'll be back.
You're probably wondering what went wrong. I'll tell you.

It started with this one night Engfa came home late. Drunk. I asked her why she came home late and why she drank, but she ignored me making me get anxious from the thoughts of what she could have been doing out at a bar.
I let it slide hoping it wouldn't happen again, and yes I was wrong cause it kept happening. No matter how much I asked she'd just get annoyed even if I asked if something was wrong since she's acting out, but all I'd get was "leave me alone." "I don't wanna talk"
Etc. I never got a straight answer making me worried.
The only thing that ever got her attention was if she was cheating.
She cried to me making me sure that she wasnt cheating, Engfa reassured me that she wasn't and had just been going out for drinks. I accepted her answer happy she's faithful in our relationship.
That's the sweet part of the story but it's not all that.

Like I said, it didn't stop the first night coming home drunk, she continued it causing us to argue all the time whenever I asked her something.
It scared me so much knowing this isn't the girl I fell in love with, it hurt me seeing her do this to herself.
I didn't know why she was doing this but it made me worried seeing her turn into an alcoholic, I always curse myself for my decision since I'm not there anymore to check up on her.

But the day I left is the day of our worst fight ever, the most heartbreaking fight. That night we both said things we shouldn't have. The night we said foul and out of pocket things no one should ever say to a person, especially someone you love.
I'm not gonna say the things that were said cause it would only make my condition worse, but I can say I regret leaving. But I can't say I can go back at the moment, I just want to heal and make her realize what she had done wrong. One day I'll go back to her, I just need her to change.

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It's been 2 months and she still calls me everyday, usually I wouldn't pick up. But tonight the story is different.
*ring ring*
I pick up the phone staying silent
"You answered?" She speaks softly with a hint of shock in her voice.
"You called me, and tonight seemed different... well I hope." I speak monotonously trying to keep myself together.
"I've been calling you for 2 months, I miss you so much. I love you Char"
She tells me making me smile in hopefulness...
"I love you too Engfa, we'll fix things soon. I promise." I speak out hoping that things will get better.
I hear her sit up getting ready to speak again.
"Soon? Why not now?" She goes silent before speaking again.
"I'm sorry for being persistent. I just miss you so much and I'm drunk-"
~Right when I thought things would change.~
I hung up immediately when I heard that she was under the influence.
I threw my phone mad at the world making me curl up into my bed hoping everything would just end.
Even though I wish to know how she's doing, I can't handle the fact that she's stilling abusing the substance making me disappointed but almost feeling bad for the women I love so dearly.

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Engfa's pov:

*beep beep*
The sound of her hanging up brought me into an abyss that made me want to drown. Why did she hang up on me? What did I possibly do wrong now?
With all these thoughts running around my head, I couldn't take it no more. Ripping all the sheets off my bed making my phone fly somewhere.
Screaming on top of my lungs hoping something would magically make everything better, with my pillows and sheets on the floor I pace around my room punching the walls trying to make me feel some other pain that's not causing me pain in my heart.
With all these emotions everything becomes a blur making me weep in my room alone, with no one by my side to tell me everything will be okay.
No Charlotte around to make me feel better to heal the pain or for the better make me feel worthy.

I throw myself onto my bed, wrapping
My arms around myself to replace the warmth I used to feel by Char, I imagine the feeling of being in her arms again.
The warmth isn't the same without her, making me cry harder than ever wishing that she was here. I start to replay the moments we had in my head causing me comfort still making me sob in loneliness, I cried and cried until I fell asleep from exhaustion. I sleep feeling broken in a cold bed that's empty without our love.

The love I've always cherished...

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I woke up the next morning to someone shaking me, I quickly opened my eyes hoping to see Charlotte.
"Char?" I question.
"Nope it's just me." Argh it's nudee.
I quickly close my eyes praying for Charlotte to appear somewhere in the room.
"Engfa. What the fuck happened to your room?!" Nudee asks worriedly.
"Um. I kind of went on a rampage when my rabbit hung up on me."
I stumbled out trying to hold in my tears from the memories from my previous night.
"Eng, what happened?" Nudee asks soothingly.
I explain to her what had happen causing her to make me question on why she had hung up and why everything happened. She explains to me on why she maybe hung up making me repeat my words I've said to her.
"I don't get it. My last words to her were that I was drunk." I say confused.
"Think harder." Nudee puts a hand on my shoulder giving me some type of encouragement.
That's when it clicked in my head.
This whole time it's been my fault, my fault my Char had to leave.
Nudee noticed that I've caught on to what had happened bringing me into her embrace letting me cry in her shoulder.

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Do you guys think Char will be able to let Engfa in after her big mistake?

The song at the top goes along well for Engfa's pov 😢

Sorry for this sad turn 😕
But please comment and vote!!

Don't forget to comment your ideas you have for this book 🤗
I am willing to write about whatever you guys would like.
But don't forget this book is ending soon 😪 so please give me ideas for the epilogue ☺️