Chapter 23 || I'm sorry

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Engfa's pov:

It's been a week since I've figured out my mistake.
I've stopped drinking which was hard since I've started to grow addicted to it, but the girls had helped me a lot.
I still haven't had an appetite but I didn't care for it at the moment, plus for some reason I feel that I don't deserve an appetite with what I have done.
Since I've changed creating a healthier version of myself I've decided to drive over to Charlotte's to tell her everything on how I've changed and to ask her to give me a second chance.

Arriving at her house was no easy, yes I've drove past it but I've never actually stopped by. Before going to her door, I sat in my car taking deep breaths. I didn't know what to quite expect since I haven't been able to have a full conversation with her since The last conversation...
~Was A Disaster~
Well at least on my half, but When I finally got myself together I went ahead to get out my car on my way to her doorsteps, I waited at her door for a bit before trying to knock.
As I raised my hand the door opened-
It felt the air had been sucked out of my lungs when I saw a familiar beautiful figure standing in-front of me.
She took a deep breath before letting out an airy "hi" I smile in relief only to become nervous since it was our first meeting after her leaving.
"Hi Char... I just wanted to-"
"Hey, let's not talk here. Come in"
She takes my hands sending shivers down my spine making me remember how much I missed her touch.
She takes me into the living room sitting us down, she looks me in the eyes practically telling me to continue.
With that I started to speak.
"I just wanted to say, I've changed and created a healthier version of myself, I'm sorry for what I've done. I didn't noticed how addicted I became to alcohol and I promise that's a mistake I won't ever do again. I'm sorry for always being aggressive when you just wanted to know what was wrong, and I can say I miss you so much and I've never regretted anything as much as this. I love you so much Char... please give me a chance to-"
Before I could finish I was crushed with a hug that I immediately melted into.

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Charlotte's pov:

The first thing I noticed when I saw Engfa at my door the same time she usually drives by my house is that she lost a lot of weight, I started to worry making me upset that she hasn't been taking care of herself.
I saw that she was coming to my door making me run to beat her, I opened the door being taken away by her beauty. God she's so pulchritudinous
(A way to say beautiful)
I invite her in taking her hands making me remember how much I love our skins touching.

{skip time to now}

When I heard how she felt and how she changed for me. For us. Made me crush us together into a hug I so much needed from her, when we pulled away we stared deeply into each other's eyes making me melt into the feeling of her presences.
"You never needed another chance, I just wanted you to realize what you've done wrong. But I also needed time to heal from the fact of what our relationship turned into." She pulls me into her lap giving me a kiss on my cheek and forehead making me feel safe.
"I'm sorry." She speaks softly.
"I know." I say reassuringly.
"I'm sorry." This time I hear her voice break.
"I know baby." I say giving her tight squeeze knowing it's gonna take awhile for her to forgive herself.
"I'm sorry Char" I took her into the room we've slept in many times tucking her into bed cuddling her.
It hurt me knowing it has affected her so much, it affected me just as much but Engfa felt so much guilt and I know Engfa struggles to forgive herself for things she's done wrong even if it's just a small mistake.
Before her falling asleep it was a series of her saying sorry and me comforting her telling how I forgive her and that it's okay.
I felt her body shaking each time she let out a sob making my heart shatter knowing how much she's broke from the Situation.
When she fell asleep, I laid by her side making sure to keep a tight embrace around her to let her know I'm here.
Eventually I fell asleep with her, listening to her small snores... it's something about her that I've always found adorable and it always helped me fall asleep knowing she was with me.

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Engfa's pov:

When I woke up feeling a pair of arms around me, I couldn't help but smile knowing it was Charlotte's.
Remembering the previous events from earlier I frown making myself feel guilty all over again, me feeling this way I just stayed in bed not bothering to get up until Char has woken not having any motivation to do anything for myself.
I didn't know what to do with myself, I've been such a bad lover. How could I live with myself knowing that I wasn't the perfect lover for such a perfect girl...

When Char woke up she gave me a kiss making me smile between our kiss missing the bliss I get from it until I remembered, I pulled away still not forgiving myself.
"I don't deserve it." With that I get up going into the washroom the get ready, feeling not worthy of her love.
After I got ready Char pulled me into her arms.
"I forgive you please forgive yourself, please take care of yourself. I can't bare to see you keep hurting yourself."
I look into her eyes seeing them glistening from the tears that were forming.
"I know you forgive me, I just... I don't know. I don't want to allow myself to accept your affection when I didn't even work for it." I say slowly and softly while wiping her fallen tears away.
"But you did! You were strong enough to stop your addiction. That's something you need to embrace, and me loving you isn't just some reward. It's my love towards you!"
She shouts cheerfully trying to make me feel better and to remind myself that I was brave enough to do something like that. But I still wanted to earn her love.
"I accept that you wanna earn it, but can I at least get one kiss everyday?"
I give her a nod, giving her first kiss being initiated by me making us both smile In between our kiss.

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Kind of cried while writing these past chapters but oh well.
Sorry for another rollercoaster, but not sorry. I had to make it have more emotions, you guys are gonna hate me for the next. 🤒🤕

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