Rusty

- Chapter 16 -

Desirae

So me and Celia were out for 4 hours. I actually didn't mean to be out this long. I feel bad that I stayed out this long and I left him alone with him mom.

It's currently 7pm, later then I expected anyways.

I have been dreading coming home, I don't want to argue with him. I don't want to possibly ruin what he have at the moment. We were so perfect before, it was one conversation and now we aren't speaking.

I enter the house and I'm greeted with a cold breeze that flows throughout the house, clearly they are either asleep or upstairs. Before I go upstairs, I decide to grab a drink and one of the cookies I made earlier.

I start walking upstairs, careful to not stand on the parts of the floor where it creaks or is too noisy.

I get to our bedroom, I consider not going in and just sleeping in the office downstairs. There is a comfy couch down there I would happily sleep on.

I go in anyways, he isn't in the main room so he is either in the bathroom or the closet. Probably the bathroom, I spend way more time in there then he does.

"Jax? You in here?" I ask from outside the bathroom, the door is closed. I have no intention of going in there.

I hear the door unlock and there he is, he leans against the doorway and rests against it. "What's up?" He asks, not making eye contact with me. 

"We need to talk, not argue." I tell him.

"Fine, lets talk." I know he doesn't want to, I don't want to right now either. Trust me, I want to sleep.

I sit on the bed and he follows after me, except he's sat right at the edge, far away from me.

"Jax, I'm sorry. I know it came out wrong." He scoffs and cuts me off, "No, no it didn't come out wrong. You meant what you meant."

See what I mean, I don't want to do this right now. "Jax, please. You need to hear me out." He's not even looking in my direction anymore.

"I was, yesterday. You brought it up, not me."

"I know, and I'm trying to apologise and you wont let me!"  I know I can't shout I don't want to wake his mom, I get it that's embarrassing for him.

"Jax, please! I'm sorry." I'm exhausted, conversations like this drain me. I hate this, I don't want this. "If you're going to be stubborn like this we aren't going to work."

"Hold on, what's that supposed to mean." He turns around immediately.

"If we can't work this out, we aren't going to work long term. I'm sorry, but it's true."

"Desirae, don't say that."

"I can't do this, if we're going to be like this Jax. I can't do it." Now, I'm tearing up.

He sighs and sits closer to me on the bed, "Desi, I love you. Okay? I really do, but when we're having a conversation like that. You can't bring stuff up like that, I know it hurt when I left but it hurt a lot for me too."

I put my hand on his, and look up at him. He looks hurt but also exhausted, "I love you too." I smile at him, still half-assed but I tried.

He pulls me closer to him and I hug him, he rests his chin on the top of my head as I cry. I didn't want to cry, I didn't think I was going to either but if we want this to work we do need to try.

Because if it takes this long for us to work out something as small as this, I can't see us lasting as long as we did before.

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We decided it would be nice if we went out to dinner, we being me and Lydia. Trust me Jax hates this idea, that fact alone made the idea so much better.

"Do we have to." He complains, for about the 100th time today. 

"Yes! It'll be fun promise." I laugh as I'm sliding my heels on. He looks over at me and frowns again. Like it'll change my mind, so I shake my head at him again and focus on my heels again.

"Nothing about going for dinner is fun." 

I roll my eyes at him, I know he can see me in the mirror, "You sound like a 5 year old."

"Come on, she's probably waiting for us." I pick up my purse of my side table and I might have as well dragged him out of the room.

"Can't we just go skating together, that's much more fun."

"No, your poor mom would be at home all alone all day." I keep walking, I'm not stopping for him. He can stall all he likes but I'm going.

"Oh well."

"Jax!" Then he follows me, should have worn a different dress. Then he might have followed me.

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"That food was great, I get why you both come here a lot." We definitely don't, we barely ever eat out. We'll get a dominio's once a week. Other then that we do cook. Or we pick something up at the rink if we're already there.

Surprisingly the food at the arena and the rink is decent. Better then my cooking anyways, I bake I don't cook.

"Yeah." I smile at her and finish my food, Jax looks at me really concerned then turns back to his food. He knows I've lied to her to make us look more entertaining. To anyone who doesn't like skating we must be the most boring people ever.

It makes us happy and we're good with that.

"Let me get the bill." Lydia smiles at me, no way I'm ever going to let her do that. Are you kidding me?

"No, no it's fine. I'll get it." I wanted to I really did, but Lord did we pick the most expensive place around here. How did we spend $300 on one meal, for 3 people!

"Leave it, both of you." Jax pays it, I'm relieved and his mom looks disappointed. With what? I don't know.

"Thank you." I smile at him as we're walking out, his mom is in front of us.

"I saw your face, when you looked at the bill." 

"Sorry, I did want to get it. Honestly." He nods at me, he knows. "It'll be better when I have my job." I sigh. I have a few last exams to do then I'm done and officially hireable. 

"Don't worry about it Desi, honest." He pulls me and and wraps his arm around my shoulders. I'm happy we're better now, I feel safe again.

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Hey <3

Next chapter I swear I'm going to use Desirae's finals as a focal point, my babies are fine again so I don't have to use them arguing as the main plot of a chapter. Yay! Anyways, I don't know how long this book is going to be.

I should have thought about it pre-writing but I may only write 30 or so chapters. I want a real dynamic between Desi, Jax, Celia and her boyfriend.

Bromance anyone?

-Cami :)