Rusty

- Chapter 28 -

Desirae

major tw!!

Jax has stood up for me before, against my mother and my sister. But this was different, so, so different. This time it affects him too, it's his sister.

That's why I'm listening, she's said awful things to people before. Not just me, like she'd say awful things about Ophelia when we were friends. I don't quite understand how she thinks it's okay. It hurts, it really does. It does make me wonder why Jax and Amber are so different, what changed?

Jax slams the door and immediately notices me on the floor next to the door. "Desi." He whispers to me, crouching down in front of me. "I'm so, so sorry." He says, resting his forehead against mine.

"I'm sorry, I fucked this for you." I tell him, wiping the odd few tears that fell.

"No." He says, which a look of confusion on his face which was also in his voice. "It's been a long time coming, I'm so sorry you had to hear that baby." He apologises again, I rub my hand against his face. Trying to help him calm down.

"It's nothing that I haven't heard from her before, don't worry about it." 

He stands up and offers his hand to pull me up. I take it and he pulls me to my feet, "I'd pick you, over her. Any day." He says as he pulls me for a hug, I rest my head into the crook of his neck, "I know."

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I can't lie when she left I was holding back a smile, I tried to look miserable. Like she wants me too. But holy, I wanted to start balling with laughter right then and there. Jax could see it too, obviously he wasn't laughing at the situation, he was laughing with me. I blame it on my reactions.

"Baby? Can you come here." I ask him, which he does. He holds onto me immediately, like a fucking koala. "If we were to get married tomorrow who would you invite." 

"Why?"

"No reason, just a question." He looks at me, he's trying to read me again.

Do I want to get married tomorrow, absolutely.

"Just my family and a few close friends." He says, resting his chin on the top of my head.

"We do need to talk about what she was saying to you though." What a way to ruin the mood.

I've been dreading this conversation all day. He'll ask for context for what I'm about to tell him, it'll kill me to tell him. It killed me when it happened, it's been living in it's little box in my head untouched. Where it couldn't kill me anymore.

But now it will.

I sigh, tears pooling in my eyes slightly, "Okay."

"She hates me, I think you know that. But for more reasons then you'd expect." My head is hanging low for this whole conversation, especially when I tell him about what I need to.

"I left, she thought it was because of me." He says, looking at me. He's confused, he won't be in a minute. He'll agree with her.

"Jax, when you left. You left me with something. You didn't know, I never wanted to tell you. I'm surprised she didn't."

"What?"

"I was pregnant, when you left." I do really want to cry right now.

"What." He repeats, a more flat tone in his voice now. "Did you know, when did you know?"

"A few weeks after you left." I don't want to cry, this is too serious. "I promise you, if you hadn't left yet or had just left I would have told you immediately."