Rusty

- Chapter 32 -

Jax

The minutes she says it, they both go quiet. I haven't been speaking anyway, but if I was I would also be as quiet as them. I don't know why she said it, especially because she was so scared to tell me. 

"Desirae." Her mom starts, she looks sympathetic but I don't know if she means it or not. Probably, when your daughter literally tells you she's miscarried and you didn't know it's got to be a shock. Look, I'm not sticking up for her mother at all. She hates me and quite frankly I hate her too. Lets put it this way I was in shock too.

"No, no. Don't even try with me." She says, she's about to cry again. Because of her mom. 

"Desi, come here." I tell her, opening up my arms for her to fall in to. She does and starts balling with tears immediately. "Did you know." Her mom asks, not nicely. Does she ever? Does she fuck.

I don't answer her, I just want to keep comforting Desi. She doesn't need this right now, she found out yesterday that it's recommended that she doesn't do figure skating literally ever again. She was so distraught, she loves it so much and it takes a huge part of her away.

"You shouldn't have come." Desi says, not looking at her mom. If anything she hates her right now, I mean I don't know that but how she's reacting and how she's shaking it tells me everything.

"Why would you never tell us that, it is important." Her mom tells her, she's not as sympathetic as before. She's returned to her stern voice. "Would you have cared? Really, would you?" Desi says, turning to face her, wiping her face. "Desirae, that is an important part of your life." Her mom repeats, not trying to comfort her at all.

"Would you have answered the phone? You didn't answer two days ago. I had to get the hospital to call you." Her mom is silent, she looks so guilty. I've never seen her look like that. "If it was my sister would you have answered her? I guarantee you would've."

"This is why we don't get along mom, you'll never, ever care for me like you care for my siblings." She sighs and comes back to me. "Can we go? I need to get out of here." She asks me, she looks like she's going to cry again. "Yes, Desi. Please, just give me a minute." She gives me a look, but leaves me to it.

"You're taking the piss." Her mom sighs. "Can you just take a minute, to really see her view point. You and your husband can't see her view point, when you're so very clearly in the wrong."

"How do you feel, knowing she abandoned us for you and you left her." My jaw locks and I shake my head at her, "Trust me you know nothing, clearly."

"Don't lie to yourself, I know everything. You left her for a career, you left her pregnant. That's so incredibly obvious. You never knew."

"I know, I knew before you did. Well before." I'm lying, she knows I'm lying. It's not like I care anyways, "Honestly, what I said to you all months ago still stands, you don't deserve her. You never deserved her, she's perfect. You lost her because none of you could give a shit."

"Why would we? Honestly. You we're 18 and were engaged, you left 2 years later."

"Why does that matter? Why is that all you bring up, you still left her behind. Just because your too selfish to look out for her doesn't mean you had to abandon her." I'm really trying here, she's petty. She's selfish for leaving her daughter, whether she wanted to stay here for not they could have kept contact.

"Look, just because you can't keep good relationships with your Husband doesn't mean you couldn't have with your daughter." I can't give another shit.

I leave her alone in the room, I'm now dreading going on the road now. I want to marry Desi now, literally so badly. I don't want to leave her here, especially alone with her.

"Where's my daughter." Her mom demands, honestly. I don't fucking know. She was going to wait here but I don't know where she's gone. 

I head to our room to look for her but she's not there, she might have gone to the bathroom or something. "Desi?" I call out. I hear talking behind me, coming from the office. Fuck me. The door slams shut and I head there immediately.

I try to open the door but it's locked, you have to be fucking kidding. I know Desirae is strong and I know that she can stand up for herself, but she's not in a good space mentally at the moment and I just want to be there for her.

I want to bang on the door so badly, but I decide not to. Mainly because it's useless, her mom won't let me in. I'm so glad we bought a house that needs keys for locking doors. The house doesn't have doors that just lock from the inside. You do need a key for the outside.

I have never been so grateful for that. We have spare keys for the inside doors in our dresser, we decided to keep them hidden just incase we get robbed. I hope we don't it's just a safety precaution.

So thats where I head.

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Desi is literally never going to see her mom again, I'm so fucking pissed at her mom. When I walked into the room Desi had just been slapped by her mom. Trust me I saw red. Normally so would she but she was in shock. I think anyone would've.

Safe to say I screamed at her mom. I feel bad for Livia, she's had to listen to this. We tried to keep her away but it really didn't work. She's so smart it's a little bit weird, she knows that Desi isn't in a good space at the moment, she wants to comfort her as much as I do.

I'm playing again today, it's only preseason which is why I'm not as excited as I should be. I've got two straight weeks away from her. I hate it, but it's to be expected, unfortunately.

I hate saying bye to her, especially while she's in pain.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" I ask her again, she gives me a bored look. Mainly because I've asked her that so many times today.

"Yes, I am. You're going to be late." She smiles, when she looks at me like that I don't want to leave. Sorry that's really cheesy. "I wouldn't mind."

"You've got a flight to catch, go." She taps my back to leave.

"One thing, one last thing I promise." I start, I pauses quickly. I want to say it, I've wanted to say it for a while, "Let's get married when I get back."

She breathes softly, "Okay."