Rusty

- Chapter 31 -

Desirae

She's nearly here, she's just landed. Luckily we don't live to far from the airport, it's only lucky when my mother isn't visiting. Like when Lila or Celia visit, other then that I'd rather live further. But for Jax it's awfully useful.

Not to mention he's going back on the road in two days. Can you guess who I'm stuck with for the next month? My mother. I'm fucking dreading it. Literally no one asked her to stay this long, but she is. Her excuse was that someone needs to look after me since I can't look after myself.

Well she didn't say that exactly but that was implied, she also implied that Jax would be useless whenever he's home. Which won't be often, he's mostly on the road this month and when he's not I'm going to every game I can.

Also, that would get me away from my mom, she hates hockey with a burning passion. I don't know why, skating she can cope with. Still wouldn't be caught watching it unless she really had to.

Like when I was 13 for example, I had my first major competition and she had to drop me off at the rink. Her excuse for not coming in was my sister wanted a day out to the store. Literally for no reason at all, she just did.

I could go on a major rant about my mother, I won't mainly because I'm in pain already and I don't want to think about that pain in the ass until I really have to.

All I want to do right now is sleep. Which honestly is all I have been doing since I got home. I needed to eat so Jax helped me down the stairs and we both can't be bothered to bring me back up, so we're watching movies on the couch.

Another one of my favourite pass times. 

"Is she nearly here?" He asks, I've been tracking her on Life 360. Don't ask me why I have her on there, she insisted after my injury. My siblings are also on this Life 360. I don't know about you but I hate the idea of my siblings getting a notification every time I arrive home, and/or leave.

"Yeah, maybe 4 minutes or so." I look over to him and he looks back at me sympathetically. He knows how much I'm dreading this, safe to say he doesn't really want to see her either. Especially after last time, we did have a conversation about that. I'm happy that he did it, they wouldn't believe me if it came out of my life. I'm just worried he's damaged any relationship he might have had with them.

Which is unlikely to be fair, I never speak to them. If I speak to any members of my family it's some of my cousins, not Ella. She's a fucking snitch. Always has been.

"Oh! I want to show you something." I smile at him and grab my laptop off the coffee table. "Show me." I load up the website I was on earlier, I may not be able to work but I wasn't doing nothing.

I show him picture of a wedding venue I had been eyeing up since we moved, it was a pain to find anything in New Jersey, we wanted to get married there. But, this is perfect. It's floral, which I've always wanted but it's also somewhat sophisticated. Best of both worlds.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I look at him for a moment then look at the pictures again, "Look, there's rooms for us to get ready in and there's also a room for the reception so we wouldn't have to book another building."

"I think you should go for it, Desi." He smiles at me and rests his head on my shoulder. "Are you sure?" I smile at him, playing with his hair with my other hand. "Yes." He whispers.

"You should lock your door, Desirae." My mother barges in, making sure her presence is known by dropping her bags dramatically on the floor.

"You should knock." I roll me eyes, putting my laptop back on the table. Greeting her at the door is so awkward. "No hello?"

"Hello, mom." I say awkwardly, she wants to hug me. So I let her, it's so uncomfortable. I don't feel safe like I do when Jax hugs me. If anything it's painful because of my leg. "This could have been avoided very easily." Tell me something I don't know.

"I'm aware."

"What were you looking at over there?" She asks, I want to tell her. But honestly I don't know if I want her there. "Don't worry about it." She gives me a don't lie look, but I pretend I don't notice.

"Can I see my room?" I look over to Jax, there is no way I can walk up the stairs without him to show her to her room. Fantastic, either he goes alone with her or he walks me up there. Both don't sound amazing.

Let's put it this way, if he goes alone he'll want to avoid her and she'll want to start something. If we all go, she'll be making remarks about everything he does. Like if he lets go of me for a second she'll comment on it. Let's just say he wont accept that.

"Do you need help, Desi?" He asks, coming over to my side. "A little." I smile at him as he holds on to me, prematurely I'll admit but I appreciate it right now. He's keeping me sane right now and I don't think he knows.

"Need help with the bags, Ms Grey." He's so fucking respectful man, I hate praising him for the bare minimum but I feel like you never see it anymore. "Nope." She says blankly, not even looking at him. "Mom, he's offering to help you. Do you have to be so stuck up?" I ask her softly, I really, really don't want to argue with her. 

"Whatever." He doesn't help her, rightfully so. I probably wouldn't help her either if she spoke to me like that. "Follow us." She heads to the bathroom while we go towards the stairs.

Jax helps me up the stairs, holding onto me carefully but he also has a firm grip on me so I don't fall. "Thank you, baby." I tell him when we reach the top of the stairs, letting him pull me closer to him. He rubs the top of my arm, helping me calm down. Keeping my shoulders from tensing up, not like they weren't already.

"Calm down, you're really tense." He says, I rest my head on his shoulder, "I'm really trying, baby."

"I know."

Mom returns from the bathroom and heads up the stairs straight towards us, she rolls her eyes at us and walks past. Just because your marriage is falling apart, it doesn't mean you can judge us. "You don't even know where you're going?"

"It's not hard to tell, there's only four rooms up here." We fucking get it, God. She may live in a massive fucking house but we live in a home. They never had, every house I lived in with them was never a home, this is.

"Yes, but there's a guest room." She rolls her eyes and lets us walk in front of us.

"Just in here." I tell her, I let her walk in first so she can take in the surroundings. "Your bedroom at our house is bigger then this." She mumbles. I don't have a fucking clue what she's talking about. "What room?" I ask her sternly. The way she looks at me, it makes me think that I was never meant to hear it.

"What room." I ask her again, probably in an awfully rude tone. But I really am not assed. "We should talk later."

"No? We're getting married soon, anything you say to me you say in front of him." I turn around to see him, resting against the doorway. He's never this quiet.

"Desirae." She says flatly, giving me a look. "No, no. This is not happening." I tell her.

"Desirae Grey, you fucking listen to me right now." She yells, like I'm 12 all over again. It's never going to change is it? "Fuck off!" I shout back at her, I barely ever shout, not anymore. I haven't shouted at people like this since they left to go back to England. "How do you speak to me like that."

"How can you talk to me like I'm a child? I'm not, I'm 22. Or did you forget?" I pauses to breathe, Jax is behind me now. Putting his hands on my waist. "You must've because you all couldn't give a shit about me or my life. I didn't see you at my graduation, or the hospital with me when I miscarried." Shit.

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I hate her mom with a passion.

Is it a surprise at this point? Anyways chapter 31, that is wild! I'm not sure how much longer this book is going to be. Maybe we'll make it to 40 who knows.

Happy Sunday, kill me now, I have school tomorrow after a week off. :(

-Cami <3