REMIND HER HER REMINDER

RESET

I would really love to reset alot of things .My past ,people,love,memories......yeah all that crap buh do we really reset or we just put our thoughts to rest .
ignoring the last letter 'e' in reset with a big ego then digest all of it again with a bitter mindset.

Lets rest this case!

I personally hate how i successfully manage to avoid some memories then it slaps me later harder than before.I got to a point id say i wanna hurt untill i burn and my heart turns to ashes.

My love story is the worst.And my exes were the best.Because i always fell for the ones who made me realise LOVE AINT NO WHERE IN THIS FUCKING HEARTLESS WORLD but about Three or Two can tell me otherwise or maybe none.

Makini was and still is very worth my love all day .I dont have much to say buh i swear he deserves the world and the moon and back shitt.

Every time we meet he treats me like we are strangers who are destined to be lovers.Then how he stares at me when i complain and how he holds me when he's leaving for his house.His touches i swear ,they have some spell on them ,because id sleep on my bed at the very night and every other night and id still feel his warm soft hands on me.

"I will love you even at your worst"Is totally him.Im usually amazed by his acts.And I've never regretted kissing him again and again even after we broke up.

Then we have Najma .Ive never had someone who brings up nothing but the best version of myself other than her. She is so special to me and i love the way she is always vibing with me even after us not talking for months.

Shes always having this broad smile that she covers with her fingers that normally have no nails cause she bites them when stressed or anxious.She is amazing.Pretty amazing and pretty too like so pretty ......amazing!!!. We've never had a serious relationship buh her kisses are full of affection and her hugs are filled with potions and her stares are filled with a glamour love story of "be mine forever ,please!"

I wouldn't want to ever let go of her till we grow grey.Id want to see her live her desired life and watch her win because God does know that her kind heart is to receive unmerited blessings and grace .

Though shes good at lies and games and promises sadly. Then she has this fear of a teenager and God!it's annoying !i hope she gets over it.I want her all bitchy activated cause her eyes scream for it.And im sure id love every bit of it.

Mwangi Victor is most probably my first love.Ive never had someone ringing that much in my head as he does.Hes a nuisance buh love can really make you go blind.Hed say some harsh words to me that tear me up and id still call him afterwards to check on him like i did him wrong.

I've never gotten to understand him buh well i try ....i do try and I've never stopped loving him .How he made me yarn to have a family with him when i was a teenager lmao
How he made me feel like im the most beautiful woman .....
and how he does his talking when im at my lowest .......
i just loved Victor and i still do buh fuck fate .

Hed talk about "i dont know how i pulled you and im this ugly "I never said I wanted me some looks i wanted a heart . A heart that felt like home.A home that i wanted to protect with love.LOVE I SAY!and he was that.

He can be scary though ,like real mad scary.When we had an argument id feel the fire burning on his lips before he spoke to me ...somehow relatable to Cuggy but felt worse.......he had ptsd and anger issues that he couldn't mostly control ,he's never assaulted me or threatened me or even raised a finger at me.

He says i hurt him and he never believes me when i say i love him.I want to call him,i get to the dial and i can predict the piercing words he finna say to me thatll ruin my whole week and i hold myself together and i just say to myself.
I wish you knew how much i miss being with you .

And we all have that first love and first kiss and first crush.Well mine, i mentioned him before,Odilla.
I grew loving him so yes my love was genuine and true buh all he ever saw was a hoe.A virgin hoe to be exact.
And i dont blame him ,i was a hoe.Anything good ...by anything good i mean any attractive human....i did believe is mine and can be mine and i made it mine. So yes i had alot of lovers  to kiss ,give me hugs,walk me home and take me to the shops buh i always made Odilla my prior and I always told them side niggas that when hes around;

know your lane cause hes my main.

I miss how we fell in love since it was fast and first for both of us.I still remember the rose you got me when i was six and you were seven . .
And our first kiss and how we sat at the small swamp talking ,caressing and kissing.How you held my hand from school to home .And how your mother ,grandma and grandpa still make me feel treasured when i came to your place.

Funny how destiny wasnt written for us yet every occasion our parents and grandparents had felt like we was finna get married and have them pretty kids with locs.
Buh as you say till date,if it's meant to be it'll be.

Of all the things you ever said to me ,the one that made me feel like i want you back is after you apologized for fucking my life up after highschool when sammie died.Buh you still the same dawg.
Bett we have different desires....