The moment i done made my realizations i realize that Ali didnt bother about me ever since.I mean all my exes do ....its something that im always certain about .
Right now im in a position of wild days
Right now all i want is that perfect person to build my future with .Sometimes i feel like i dont even need anyone BETT "im better all by myself"IM A SELF SATISFACTION YOU KNOW?!.And on some days i really want to make new friends,im actually dying to make new friends,even one friend would work for me but im not good at it all.I have this natural mean look colored on my black face that isn't heart warming.And worst of all is social anxiety
Having this as just a reminder ...
Im here to tell yall i made friends
I have this friend Tina Muyuku ...shes a whole other version of me ...just older...I pray for plenty blessings on her .....And i met another friend ...His name is Dalvo ....We be calling each other babe sometimes....Hes another soul im so happy to meet ........With Dalvo we have Salome Monthe whos a distant cousin to Cuggy but we really vibe good ....
W Salome ...oh my heart eases w pure happiness......we all humans and sometimes wed twist each others nerves but trust me i never found one thats like her .....Shes a bit more of Nina but more of mental disorder...I think thats what makes me like her even more ...
She seems lost and pulling up socks thats are torn at the sole ...But her efforts wont be effortless this time cos she has me and i have the Lord and truly the love that she shares Lord ease her way to success...
Her life is just crazy....Shed tell you 6 stories at the same time when we high ...You prolly thinking i made that up ...
This girl would start two stories and add four more in between the first two and still end up finishing up all the six tales before she knows it ......
I smile more ...Actually i smile alot when im with Salome....the inner child comes out freely without struggles or fear of being judjed ......
And the fact thats she loves weed as much as i love weed ....and she loves coooking cos she loves eating ....And damn ...her food slaps so hard ......soooooo fuckinh delicous...
Lately when we meet up at Tinas place ...Tina misuses her art of cooking ......
Shes so pretty and im so happy i never got intimate with her when we got to know each other...cos damn bro shes pretty so pretty ...The friend realm sounded more effective on us ...not that i was planning on hitting on her or anything ...NO!!!
I just love how everything just fell in place .......
Shes amongst the things that make me find life precious ...
Also Nina liked her and Bilal too so that gives it a pass ......
Soooo w all that being said .....
I pray we dont hurt each other or turn on each other or any negative spirit sent to destroy this friendship....I rebuke it all and ask God to shield this friendship.....
Well lately ive been asking myseld about Ali ......some weeks ago i was telling Bilal how much i had fallen for him that i feel so stupid ...Though he saved me time from going back to Cuggy ..
A WIN IS A WIN!!!
And i did tell Bilal that id meet him one day ....And he finna see that he lost a gem...
And this week ......
Eh you thinking we met lmao....
This week this nigga unblocks me on instagram and is talking about me and him raising the kid i lied about.....
And i hate how i feel that i still need him or that i still want to be w him knowing hes a narcissist.
He's still as fine as he was ......Ofcourse I look good tooo....Bro I look like a stunna girl ...Frankly I'm a stunna girl ....
I really miss being with him ...he's all acting sweet and apologetic but I feel like it's a trap smh .i done been with Cuggy for 5 fucking years and hes still run up the same type of shit even after apologising .....or even worse ....or blind me and fuck me up ...
If I had waited for your proposal,
I wouldnt have kept that diamond ring till date.
Id have thrown it in that same bridge we had our first kiss.
And i would walk past the bridge like a stranger ,hearing and unattending to the echos of our love drawning deep ;
fighting ............
Because i want to forget how youve made me feel like shitt.
But strangers give sweets to street kids.
And yours is undeniable.
Im your "sweet toothed " street kid.
But that's for a while now
Once I learn to let go
I'll be gone
Thought i was playing when i said id be gone ...I used to write this lines hoping hed go through this pages and maybe change but i done learnt the hard way that toxic people dont change at all ...ALL THEY DO IS CHANGE THE STORY....but the toxicity venom keeps getting poisonous and eventually feelings faded and they died....
Well im scared of having another year wasted on someone else thats why i been on ...
Take it or leave it ......
Im scared cos im so empty at the moment ...
My hearts just a void .....
All i wanna do is love myself cos no ones appreciated me like i appreciate others ...
So imma do it .
But now!
We said may the best man win
No emotions no mercy
No mercy no battles
As days go by ,i realise i am worth life.......
Ever since i locked out Cuggy out my life .Alot happened...It wasnt that easy but i thank God ive made a move that id be so proud of coming to look back ...
Now i watch Nina grow into being me because unfortunatley hes dating a Cuggy i her life and i cant blame her or ask her to break up w the guy cos ive been there...And id cry to Bilal a hundred times and hed ask me to leave Cuggy but id still find my ways back to him .I really love that hes never scolded at me even on days hed get tired of me ...
Hes amongst the purest people i met ...Im so happy to have him as my best friend.
YOU ARE READING
REMIND HER HER REMINDER
RandomI am just trying to figure shit out here.i would love to let you know what you are to read but you are already reading it.Well if it feels like a good tale go for it Im sure you'll love every bit of it And if not ,you don't have to . The world has...
