REMIND HER HER REMINDER

HIM

Starting a whole ass relationship with a stranger is one of my biggest fears.....
I be asking myself what redflags will he give?? Will he be worse than my ex ?!How will I deal with it ......How will our first argument be like?? Will he say sorry when I say sorry ?Will he just walk away ??Maybe he'll scold at me !What If he gets violent !What really pissses him off!Will he mend or break my heart ??
I just be having alot in my head .....That's the reason why I'd always go back to Cuggy... because I knew him ,I could tell when he lies ,when he puts effort,when he's hurting....I could read him .But I'm done reading him, even books have an ending.Life itself has an ending despite it being treasured ...and I concluded that my mama raised me better than this .Hed say hes change but we've both been through this phase before.

I can't be crying every time cos a man ain't treating me right.i can't be wounded cos a man keeps playing with my sensation .I can't keep hurting and going back to you Cuggy.You gave me reasons not to love again .Plenty on not to trust a soul but my dearest was not to hurt again .

I was set .....I was becoming a bitch....THE BITCH...and I named myself karma.Though even before I had my first devour.
.I MET HIM.

And I'm telling you this man didn't feel real..I wouldn't say he was an AI but he's fictitious.....How we naturally clicked amazes me......

Fighting fit ,
Dear Ali,

How falling in love w you felt like
....

I replay as I reminisce the first day we met,how you first set your eyes on me ,how you held my chin slowly and kissed me ,how soft your lips felt ,how passionate that kiss was and then you smiled ,and I smiled, and I felt blessed that you didn't leave even though I came way late .I needed that moment in my life at that time Ngl.Then we had this small conversation about my day .You asked me if I had eaten then suggested you take me for a lunch.i looked really messy on that day but you kept telling me how pretty I am.And before we got out your car .....I still didn't believe you were sitted next to me .....you was so calm ,I felt safe ,I was safe .....and you just felt right for me ,and you held me ....just a kiss, and then you carresed me ,I got turned on at how freaky you'd look at me and all that led to having an eye candy ....Then we smiled again and got out the car ready for the date ......
We had bonded way so much even before we had our first date...
you then gave me your shirt .......then this happened....it was such a heavy moment for me ....

I had to sign in some sheets that read member and guest ...well I did know my name so filling my name on the guest part wasn't hard ...then the lady pointed at member then she asked me to write your names ....and I did ...both of them ....ain't it wierd that I actually knew all your names before our first date!?.....
They Prolly thought I'd known you for Years or months or days don't you think?? ....I wasn't even sure if I had it correct ...and it would have been odd asking you yet I bett we looked like some foreign black fine couple when we walked in .

And we got in finally...
Your smile had me every minute .....how you hugged me from the back still rings in my head ....how we danced together ...how we vibed,you kissed my hand tooo I remember...and remembered you promised to hug me too when we meet cause I had had a bad day and so you did.Lawd then you rapped !!!!and my mind unsighted and questioned itself... where's this man been all my life !!!!!!!!.....

Then my first fear got erased on day one ... Heading home we had a misunderstanding in the car.....and for the first time in my life I sat there reserved until you was done talking....you said you want me to be feminine....buh I get hurt when I let that side out ...and you said maybe I wasn't just treated right that it's naturally unleashed ...and that just had me ...........cos it was so true, cold truth.
I broke down cause I was hurting that we already having fights on day one after a well spent day....
you stopped the car so that we could talk .....though you had me feeling thick because whole time I had had the happiest day of my life ...I could barely remember a day someone made me that happy or I made me that happy .
and you injured me emotionally saying that once you drop me off we are done...

I shattered with grief...
I opted to leave but once you got at ease we immediately settled it. and you felt promising.
And we kissed and made love again ,
I don't know if you noticed that when we made love in your car ,it was raining outside.

Broo I got bonked in a Mercedes Benz ...crazy!!!!

Then once you got me home, we made love again .

And I got to bed happy that night that I met you, funny how all that happened on day one .....

On day two I Cooked for you, so you came over .Ate and ate each other .

Then on day three,you wanted to do the dishes for me ,I kept being reluctant cos you were too good to be true ....you just felt...
........ right.......
and every moment w you healed my heart ....

And we cooked together....

Ate and made love .....

Then went out for drinks which had a bad route but it got way better after,we both know of it ....
I love how you make me feel comfortable around you ....how you unfold this character that calls for tranquility and exhilaration..And I just want to have you forever.We clicked so quick and I don't want to ruin this ...so I had to cancel my bitch trip .... because it's you that I want to keep ....
Now I have you in my prayers.....now I think of you often than I realised .I'm scared to love but you just feel right .I'm willing to take another ride ....I pray this won't hurt ....I pray that this one lasts....I pray that I am all you need ,and when I can't read you ,the spirit of love will lead .

Though he's something that I never told you .

All those days we been intimate my love , it felt like love .it was love ...it has to be love ..it sure is love ..
I never fucked w you ,I made love with you .