REMIND HER HER REMINDER

BLOCK

Sometimes i just want to run away and on some days i just want to stay alone .i can't figure whats best for myself but today i had anger and the urge to kill.

You ever trusted the wrong person in your life and it gets to a point you'd actually stub them 20 or more times and it wouldn't tear you or break you that you might end up in jail?

Thats the mood im having.and all that is bounded to more pressure about adulting about my past and about my future and to some point i dont think i can stand it.

Id say im getting weaker at every breathe i take but my inner self toughens up by conquering all.

Been watching some "black energy movies"and that shit is dope.I admire how the black culture keeps thriving and i hope ill get there someday.

Passion!

Yall ever get talked about passion cause no one did that to me.
Growing up for me was full of fake promises ,I wasnt ready for the world but the world had adopted me already.I had to fit in the worlds orphanage of no one cares about how you feel ,think,work,dine or fight!.

Right now all i want is that perfect person to build my future with .Sometimes i feel like i dont even need anyone BETT "im better all by myself"IM A SELF SATISFACTION YOU KNOW?!.And on some days i really want to make new friends,im actually dying to make new friends,even one friend would work for me but im not good at it all.I have this natural mean look colored on my black face that isn't heart warming.And worst of all is social anxiety.

I thought after school id be this famous writer .I was promised that if i dont drop out of school theyd connect me to some famous people and work things out .I didn't know i have to earn it on my own !No one's cares about your success...WE ALL JUST WANT TO SEE YOU SUCCEED BRAG WE KNOW YOU AFTER WISHING YOU CONGRATULATION !
Though being a failure;
the society gon talk of you as life examples to them other kids on how shit might not work on them if they dont do this or if they do this with your name tied to the list of failures in your life as lessons in theirs.
Anyways,
Not like i earned it already but i know i will and I'll reflect here on this very page and be grateful and feel at peace of my piece of art.

I thought life would be easy ,i wanted it to be easy but it keeps getting tougher out here.
My childhood bucket list sounds like humor and a wild sarcasm right now.My dreams feels like it's growing to nightmares day by day since im not getting there and it's frightening.real frightening.

And my childhood!you know what else i feel about it????????
it makes me feel sorry for being so vulnerable .The small girl i was,whos world was of fantasies ,rainbows and unicorns.Though look at the adult me right now ,full of glocks and drugs .The younger me would ask me to just stay strong cause we both know how it went back then.How I remember never seeing the sun rise cos my days were dark like the night.Mahn in telling you I have like five years that just passed without me knowing shitt.

Though what are dreams for if we cant live to them?

I hear them saying i went to college for law but im here doing art .Speaking of art thats what got me here today on this page .

Mainga!!!ERIC MAINGA!!

"i hate how i treated you of my own blood and you fucking took my art and threw it to dust like it meant nothing .
And yes I swear if i was staying in Chicago or Philadelphia id pull up in you moms crib and fuck your life up you fucking retarded cunt!
I swear to God the pain for my art bro ;that you took and gave to your stupid girlfriend ;that you wanted to impress so badly letting her see how talented your black dumb ass is ;
FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR STUPID LOVE LIES THAT COULDNT GET YOU TO BE REAL WID A GIRL TO WIN HER HEART OR HER PUSSY!

Id pray you have the worse buh my Father taught me otherwise and imma leave all this to His hands.If surely you deserve mercy may He give you.Same way you had that girl mercy who you was banging in my crib behind my back cos your ass couldn't fucking take her to a decent date or hotel !."
Mahn im so mad at you boy about every damn shitt you had going on thinking i dont know.

It surprises how everyone is fake.Mahn i rather stitck to my best friend Elias Omali and thass it ,cause yall just hissing around the streets .A bunch of snakes ....it's a whole snake zoo out here!!!!.But you know what????

I fucking regret having you on me like we was finna ride or die all the way knowing your fucking car aint got engine or brakes to be used as brains in your physical structure ...Dumb folk !!
It aint got nothing.empty headed nigga .Just the fucking wheels that make you feel like you moving which you totally are,but thats not a car anymore...its a WHEELBARROW.Cause it carries your fake broke ass .
Actually it's even moving the wrong direction you wimp.
Fuck i dont know what I wrote buh i can tell thats anger coming out so loud and if this was a paper id tear it up ..Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkk!!

Shiit i even had you fore my nigga and my bestie shitt bro .....I really wanna say you deserve nothing but the worst but live your life mine sucks anyway."