Alex has been looking for a sign from the universe. A sign to tell him that he needs to keep fighting. To live on for his brother who died in a tragic car accident.
When Alex stumbles across a man in town wearing a blindfold, holding a sign that say...
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I don't think I've ever wanted to know what it felt like to kiss a boy until this moment in time. Not because it's something that makes me feel strange but because I have only felt that sexual connection towards women.
But Alex. It feels like everything has changed since I met him.
My mind aches with my feelings that buzz around my head. I don't know what's real, what's lust, what's confusion. I can admit that I like Alex. I've always liked him since we met but I have no idea where this will lead us.
I knew we'd be great friends, the second we met, we gelled together. But this throws a spanner in the works completely. I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy the kiss, he leaned in and I pulled away, I was the one to initiate it for a second time. Because I wanted to know, I wanted to know what it would feel like to kiss him.
And it felt good. Better than good. My heart fluttered and I thought that was shit girls made up in chick-flicks because they become attached far too quickly. But I felt every inch of those butterflies, the pulsating of my heart, heat spiking at the back of my neck.
I can't remember the last time I felt that with a girl–if I felt it at all.
When I make it back to my apartment after finding a comedy to watch on my TV, I kick off my shoes and jacket and fold myself into the sofa for a few moments. Trying to gather my thoughts, any thoughts at all. But I can't. I'm almost too stunned to piece it together.
A part of me doesn't want to disrupt the friendly relationship we have going.
I know I've been feeling a certain way towards him because I find myself looking at him in ways that I wouldn't look at other men. Even when he told me about his date with Luca, something didn't sit right with me. It kinda makes sense to realise that it could have been jealousy.
But part of me is scared for him to come too close. There are parts of me that he doesn't know, that none of my friends know. I'm scared to trigger him because I know that he's in and out of that dark place in his head and I never want to make it worse. I only want to help him in every way I can.
And if our relationship progresses, I realise that I will have to show him all of me.
❖ ❖ ❖
On an afternoon I have off I agree to meet up with my sister. I haven't sat down with her and had alone time just us two in ages, not since we both moved out of our home at an early age.
We might have parted ways young but we've always been close. We had to be after everything that we endured.
I find myself sitting on a park bench with two coffees in hand from Chessman's. Daisy always likes a surprise coffee, it makes her day considering she's currently studying to be a nurse and she's practically running on caffeine.
My head moves between the people who walk beside me until a hand rests on my shoulder and I almost jump out of my skin, whipping my head to face my sister who is plucking a headphone out of her ear.
