36. i fucked up

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I should have known this was coming and yet I have no one to blame but myself

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I should have known this was coming and yet I have no one to blame but myself.

I caused this. I caused his pain. I'm the one who hurt him in the end because I didn't want to see him upset at all. And now this has backfired majorly because seeing the sadness and the betrayal in his eyes, I've never felt so crushed, so damn empty.

My eyes fixate on the position Alex was just holding but now he's gone and I can't find the strength to go after him because I know the damage I've caused.

He'll never forgive me. He'll never forget.

"River," Demi's voice floats through the cafe.

My head lowers and I turn to glance over my shoulder, Mason is still sitting in the same chair with his eyes glued to his phone screen. I huff out a loud breath and after a moment he glances up at me.

I take three large steps towards him, tightening my fists beside me. "What the fuck is your problem?!" I yell at the top of my lungs.

Luca attempts to dive in between us, pressing a hand to my chest but I bore my eyes into Mason's lifeless ones. He's always been a sly fucker and I have no idea why we've kept him around for so long.

"You should have told him," Mason says calmly.

My eyes flare at his tone. "It was none of your fucking business."

"Enough of everyone else's business to tell Demi and the whole cafe a week ago."

I suppress a low growl and take my hand into his shirt, bunching up the fabric. Demi shouts something from behind me but I can't hear her. Mason doesn't even react, he just stares down at me and I resist the urge to swing my fist in his direction.

"Hey, hey, hey," Luca tries to shove me off Mason. "None of that in the cafe. Or I'll throw you both out."

Mason's eyes slide to Luca, scowling. "I did nothing wrong."

My teeth grind into my jaw with such force that I almost hear it crack into dust. "I will fucking deck you, Mason." I spit with severe frustration.

"I'd like to see you try."

"Enough!" Luca bellows. "This isn't a place for a fight and I swear to God, if either of you start swinging, you are no longer my friends. Not in the one place that is meant to give us peace."

I listen to Luca's words and take a step away from Mason, shoving him backwards with a little force. He doesn't really sway but he straightens out his bunched shirt with petty annoyance. I glance away from him before I do something I regret–or maybe I won't.

"Go sit over there," Luca points to the other end of the cafe.

My eyes slide across the cafe and I look at Demi who has her fingers entwined in front of her, sympathy and concern painted across her face. I slump across the floor and walk towards the other end, clutching the leather chair.

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