29. coming out

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"Oh, God," I press my forehead into River's shoulder

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"Oh, God," I press my forehead into River's shoulder.

My heart sinks into my chest at the look on Luca's face. He liked River before and I know he likes me now, I can't even imagine what he's feeling inside. Betrayal. That was what was written across his face.

I glance at River and he flashes me a sympathetic look. We both know how this is going to end. After a few moments I crawl out of the tent, Luca is standing towards Troy as he attempts to get the fire going.

"Luca," I say carefully.

He shakes his head and looks down to the floor. "I knew you didn't like me, is this why?"

My heart crumbles as River climbs out of the tent and stands beside me. "It wasn't like that, Luca I promise." I feel my stomach begin to crash over with anxiety, I hate confrontation. It's the worst thing that could ever happen to me because it makes me feel nauseous and dizzy.

This is my worst nightmare.

Luca turns to us, eyes glistening in the moonlight. "Is it not?"

"What's going on?" Demi asks, frowning as she glances between the three of us.

Troy and Mason are now facing our direction and I begin to panic. My palms become increasingly sweaty and I want to reach out to Luca and give him a hug and tell him this wasn't malicious or planned, it just happened.

"Luca, we can go talk about this." I say, gesturing towards the trees covered with fairy lights.

I know that River probably won't want it to spread to the rest of them that we're dating, he said he wasn't ready and I don't want to make this worse by saying the wrong thing. Or something that could out him.

"How long?" Luca's voice wobbles.

"Lu–"

"How long?" He repeats but louder.

I glance at River, my throat clenching. I don't know how we're going to get through this without explaining the situation. My lips stay sealed because it's not my secret to share, it's something that River knew he'd struggle with so I leave it up to him.

"Me and Alex," River sucks in a breath and my eyes focus on his as he stares at his friends. "Have been dating for a few weeks. We decided to take things slow and not put any labels on it right now. It hasn't been long Luca, I promise."

Luca's eyes flicker slowly, the skin around his lids becoming red. "A few weeks."

"Wait," Mason steps forward and points a finger at River. "So you're gay?"

"Shut the fuck up, Mason!" Demi and Troy roar at him from across the campfire.

Mason holds up his hands in defence. "I was just asking a question."

When I glance back at River his jaw is clenched and I can see the pain of this conversation run through his eyes, this is probably what he wanted to avoid. All the questions. "I'm actually bisexual, Mason. Not that it matters because what is my business, is my business. And I shouldn't have to explain myself to my friends."

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