Alex has been looking for a sign from the universe. A sign to tell him that he needs to keep fighting. To live on for his brother who died in a tragic car accident.
When Alex stumbles across a man in town wearing a blindfold, holding a sign that say...
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It's been days since I last heard from River. Days since we kissed. I've been busy with work but as soon as I come home from work, I find myself checking my phone wishing for a message. But my notifications are as dry as the Sahara.
Between coming home from work, I had gone back to Liam's memorial and attempted to rescue pieces that weren't fully destroyed. I wanted it to look the way it did before, he deserves the most beautiful memorial.
But besides going to the memorial, my stomach has been churning all week, paranoid that I've fucked up everything between us. I know I can also be the one to text him first or knock on his door to see how he is but a part of me is telling me not to.
I initiated the kiss. What if he's having second thoughts and needs to reevaluate our friendship?
I've been losing sleep over it and I'm too much of a coward to message him first. I know I should so that I can get over whatever I'm feeling, a big lead up of anxiety that's either going to blow up in my face or dissolve when he says that nothing between us has changed.
When I think back to the night on my sofa, I scold myself for touching beneath his clothes, his stomach. That was a step too far and maybe I scared him off. I have no idea why I even did it, I'm a virgin and I have absolutely no experience with anyone.
But my confidence got the better of me and I wanted to touch him, skin on skin.
I fucked up. Something recoiled in his eyes when he pulled away and I shudder thinking of his expression. He said I didn't make him feel uncomfortable but I could tell a look of distress covered his eyes. He's the last person I'd want to make uncomfortable.
When I get home after not speaking to him for three days, I can't hack it anymore. My anxiety is eating away at me and if I don't ask what's up right now, I'll never be able to face him again.
My thumbs fly across my screen as I stare at our messages. Thoughts of when Luca told me that he's not gay, bi or pan. Though things can change, those words stick to my brain especially after I kissed him.
He's confused. He said that and I understand.
I flick my eyes across the words I've typed out but not sent yet. I hover my thumb and wait a few seconds, I can feel blood flow around my body at how slow everything seems to be, but I have to do it or I'll haunt my mind.
Alex: Is everything okay between us? I worry I've annoyed you
My lip finds its way between my teeth and I clamp down. I begin to cook dinner, poking the screen every so often but a new message never shows. I curse under my breath, I wish I never said anything at all. Stupid, stupid.
Once I cooked my dinner and eat it on the sofa, I lounge back into the pillows. Trying to push back the memories of River's lips on mine in this exact position. I sigh and close my eyes for a brief second.
