Star Wars One-Shots

All There Is

Author's Note: This is canon-compliant, happening some time between ROTS and OWK, for anyone who has questions. :) 

Warning: Uhh... medical torture without details, too many thoughts about Obi-Wan and Mustafar, and thoughts about suicide

~ Tirana Sorki

Vader has always loathed medbays, but it's especially true now when he only goes for repairs. Repairs that usually leave him in too much pain to remember his own name. Or the name of... someone else. Someone who was always supposed to be with him, so why isn't he here? As always, Sidious is quick to remind Vader he's the only person who's always been loyal to him.

There's nothing Vader loathes more than medbays now, especially not the times when he's there for... repairs.

It hurts, and everything hurts. Once, there was a time he never knew this much pain was even possible. It might have gone on for an eternity for all he knows. Maybe it was all he ever knew, because he can't remember his own name right now.

All he can feel is pain and pain and more pain and –

There's someone standing over him he thinks. He can see him in between his vision whiting out from the sheer agony of it all.

Pal –

No, Si –

He can't remember that much either, but he knows it isn't who's supposed to be here.

There was someone...

Maybe...

His mind can't form a single coherent thought right now. His throat feels raw from screaming – if that's what that noise was anyway – or maybe that's not the only reason it feels raw. But he can't move anyway, no matter how much he jerks and squirms against the restraints holding him in place.

He doesn't even have the energy to scream anymore, unless it's just that his mind is working too slowly to register that he actually is. But someone is supposed to be here. Someone...

He – Him. He should be here because he always is – and...

But why does that not feel right...?

But Force, he can't even remember who the "him" is right now. He can't remember anything at all.

"O –"

He thinks maybe he might have choked out the name out loud, maybe. He has no idea. It was the wrong thing to say, though. Yes, it definitely was the wrong thing to say, and somehow, past the blinding agony consuming all of his senses, he still knows that much, even if he doesn't even know why, because everything hurts so much and –

Something cold and dark and sharp slams against his mental shields, and if he even had the mind to resist it, he doesn't think he'd care to because this hurts and –

The dark sensation is cold and dark and familiar and a part of it gives him a strange feeling of acceptance even if the rest of his mind screams the opposite,

The Dark and cold feeling envelops him for a fleeting moment, and it gives him a split second of relief from the constant unbearable agony eating him alive. No, there was something else that ate him alive once. Flames and fire and –

Images are ripped to the surface, and he's abruptly plunged back into a world of pain again. All he can see is those far too brilliant rivers of lava flowing all around him, the feel of the scorching ground beneath him, and he knows any second now, it's going to ignite, and...