Sharp Edges

Chapter 3

Jeanette had never gotten a lot of love from her parents. Even though they tried as hard as they could, did their best to love her, they just couldn't find it in themselves.

God is gracious, they had said, yet they couldn't love their own daughter.

Jeanette knew things like these can happen. Her parents just weren't made to have a child.

And when they had one, she was the victim of it all.

Her parents couldn't accept the fact they didn't love her. They wanted to be great, loving parents, but they were the utter opposite.

Their inability to love her made way to different feelings - dislike, disgust, hatred. And they made it a lot evident, made Jeanette feel every ounce of it.

It was a lot to bear, being a small child who had sadly no idea of how the outer world actually worked. And while her parents never raised a fist at her during her early years, the love which was never given to her, which she could never experience, left something buried deep inside her.

And so, maybe, because of the disinterest from the side of her parents made her indifferent about other people as well. She just simply had wrong people whom she looked up to, which greatly impacted her life ever since.

She could never forgive her parents for choosing such an incredulous name, but she knew it wasn't their fault that they felt no love.

Sometimes, life wanted to play a little, and this was the cruel result.

It wasn't her parents fault and she couldn't blame them for how they had handled the situation - she herself wasn't sure how she'd be able to cope with it -, she knew they did the best they could. Feeling hatred, feeling something towards her must've been better than feeling nothing, after all.

They did their best, but they still had to pay a price for their actions.

Sometimes, it was all just too overwhelming for Jeanette. At such time when emotions took over her, she wouldn't hesitate to remind her parents of her feelings she'd usually kept buried inside.

"I hate you!" she'd scream from the top of her lungs, "Why can't you just be like all the other normal parents?" Of course, she didn't actually mean that. Somehow, she still loved them just as earnestly as any other child does.

"Jeanette," her father voice rumbled, "do you think it's easy for us to have a daughter like you?" He wasn't yelling, but the cold tone was much worse than raised voice.

"I'm like this because of you!" I don't know how to make any friends because of you. I have so much trouble at school. I'm always alone. My life is awful and it's all because of you.

Her mother would take her outbursts very badly and felt guilty for hew own child.

Usually, those day would end with Jeanette crying softly into her pillow while her parents opted for the alcohol in the cupboard, the solution to all their problems.

Her family simply couldn't communicate nor function properly.

After all, even though she was already in high school, she was still only a child yearning to be loved.