Sharp Edges

Chapter 41

She bit into the inside of her cheek and tasted the irony taste of her blood on her tongue.

Physical pain was better than emotional.

She bit even harder to keep the tears threatening to spill in her eyes, to not start crying.

She felt terrible.

Her hand was pulsing with pain.

Her cheek hurt as well.

And yet, her heart somehow continued beating.

"Jeanette?"

Jeanette.

That was her name.

God is gracious, it meant.

He sure was gracious in letting her experience every single possible feeling of pain, unrequited love, embarrassment, anger, humiliation, disappointment and more pain.

"Jeanette!"

Her head snapped up to find her science teacher starting at her impatiently.

"Pay attention, Jeanette."

She nodded and looked down to her lap again.

When she came in the morning, Oscar didn't bat an eyelash. He didn't greet her.

Of course he didn't. She told him to not be friends anymore. Why should he greet her? She felt angry at herself for feeling disappointed anyway.

He didn't greet her, but that was what she had wanted all along, no?

She shook her head. Too fast, and she started feeling a little dizzy.

She blinked away the tears. New ones kept coming.

It was totally impossible for her to focus on the teacher even when she wanted to. Her mind wasn't cooperating, her thoughts kept slipping in unwanted directions.

The loud ringing of the bell hurt her ears. Somehow, the ringing sounded like some sort of a weird human scream. It felt like her ears were bleeding.

It felt like her eyes were bleeding. The liquid rolled down her cheek, got stuck in the corner of her lip and then fell down onto her pants, soaking into them as she was looking down.

Her lips tasted salty the whole day.