Sharp Edges

23:59:59

oscar: im outside
oscar: open your window
[seen 23:55]

She grips her phone tighter, her knuckles white and presses her fingers across the screen. She is just staring at it, at those two stupid messages not knowing how she should reply to them, if she should reply to them. She's nervous, lump making itself in her throat as she starts to feel nauseous at the pit of her stomach.

After all of this, he still has this effect on me.

That's what she hates - that he can yell at her, use her or other things he fortunately doesn't do, but yet she'd still throw herself over him after he apologized even if he didn't really mean it. Because he is the only person in her life that pays her attention, the only person that cares about her. Truly. He is influencing her the ways she never imagined, and it scares her.

She tosses the phone somewhere into the corner of her room. Here it is again, her overthinking about everything. She also hates herself for this - she does this everytime, and it makes her only tons of new problems. Tears start brimming in her eyes as she thinks about things more and she shuts them to prevent the salt liquid to escape and roll down her cheeks. She isn't a crybaby, she never cried so much as for the past weeks now.

I was never like this, why did he have to change my whole life?

Memories replay in her mind, their memories, when there still was any them. It isn't now, so why the heck did he came all the way here? Yes, it's true that he wanted to remain friends, but it is just too hard for her. But she doesn't want to let him go too, she shares with him way too much things to just toss all of their past away, to just forget. She wants to be still friends, too, but at the same time, she does not. It hurts her, it aches her heart to see him again.

oscar: i know youre awake, you still have lights turned on in your room, silly
[delivered 23:56]

The ding on her phone startles her for it's the only sound in her room and pulls her out from her trance. She makes her way over to pick it up only to see the screen's broken. She glances at the screen, feared. She doesn't know why she is afraid, she just is, she really did not expect him in the middle of the night. Maybe she's afraid he's gonna talk again, about them, about her, and that's the last thing she wants now. She massages her hands and after a couple of seconds and deep breaths, she types a reply.

jeannette: what do you want
[seen 23:58]

He replies almost immediately, her eyes widening with the message he sends her.

oscar: just come outside for a while
oscar: i cant keep living on like this
[seen 23:58]

jeannette: what do you mean by that
[seen 23:59]

oscar: you exactly know what
oscar: i want things to be normal again for us
oscar: please
[seen 23:59]

She turns off her lights before quietly skipping to her window.