Sharp Edges

Chapter 23

It was becoming more and more addictive.

It was more and more often that she found herself doing it, rushing home after school to enjoy the escape which was turning into a newfound hobby sooner than she'd actually like to.

After that day, she stayed home the next one as well and then came the weekend, luckily. She spent it whole locked up in her room, shutting off the whole world.

She used to do it all the time back when she didn't have any friends, but now that she had gotten a taste of having friends and hanging out, it all felt even more desperate to her, even more suffocating and unbearable.

She was bored most of the time, pondering, not having enough energy to cry and let out her emotions.

The only thing which she did was causing herself even more pain.

There were countless of cuts and marks mixing in with her older scars on the backs of her arms and thighs.

She didn't eat much over those days. She didn't feel like eating at all and when she tried, she'd usually end up vomiting it all.

The biggest thing she managed to actually eat was a slice of bread.

Her parents were out working even during the weekends, always complaining about how they can't get any break, always saying how much money they need to earn and blaming Jeanette for stealing and using it.

Jeanette almost never used their money, though. It was mostly her mother, who spent a good portion of it on cigarettes, and alcohol they both liked to indulge in.

Her mother would smoke a box of cigarettes per day, and that too only when it was a good day. On the worse days, she was capable of much, much more.

She also had a bunch of spare lighters in her drawer to always have something to light up the cigarette with.

Jeanette found herself coming into her parents bedroom to rummage through her mom's drawer.

When her hands clasped around the cold metal lighter, she retrieved to her room.

The heat it produced was becoming worse and worse as she moved her fingertips closer to the flame.

She held the tips of her fingers above the flame until her skin reddened and burned, until she could take no more.