How to Survive South Park

The First Final Battle Part 1

Kenny's POV:

"Now it's time to rise up or it's time to stand down and the answer is easy to seeeee,"

Yup, I'm doing a 'Ready as I'll Ever Be' remix from the Tangled TV Series. The former kings wanted their armies' morale high and I wanted to parody Cassandra so it's a win-win.

Dovah still has his panties in a wad over the upcoming fight even though I've told him like 3 times I've got this. Doesn't he know that the good guys always win? It's like one of the most well known rules ever. But seriously, Clyde's little club ain't jack compared to the army I've gathered, even with his animal buddies and Dovahkiin.

Hopefully Dovah will think twice before underestimating me by tomorrow. I get the guys shaken up over almost dying a few days ago but those kinds of experiences are pretty fucking normal here which he is supposed to know already so I guess this will determine if he makes it or breaks it.

"And I swear by the sword, if you're in, get on board!"

I plan on teaching Dovah several things tonight if all goes well which it should but there's always the possibility of something going to shit. I'm not too worried as I've still got plenty of tricks up my puffy sleeves that even my new timeline-hopper buddy shouldn't know about as he never mentioned them as possibilities.

From what he told me, it feels like I barely used any of my powers in the future he knows and I've gotten screwed over quite a few times because of it. I guess I never really considered them options before since I only bring them out when playing games like the fantasy, sci-fi, and superhero ones. Well things are gonna be very different this time around, that I can guarantee.

Thanks for opening up my eyes, Dovahkiin or whatever your real name is. Allow me to return the favor.

"Are you readyyy?"

"I'm ready!"

"This is stupid, Kenny." Shut up, Cartman.

"We're READYYY!!!"

"Ready as I'll ever beeeeeee."

Dovah's POV:

"Now it's time to step up, or it's time to back down and there's only one answer for meeee."

Craig and I are staring at Clyde who's doing a half-assed attempt at parodying Varian from Tangled: The Series.

"And I'm ready, I'M REA-"

"We get it, Clyde. No need for a musical number. The High School Musical fad a few years ago was torturous enough." Craig with his usual level of enthusiasm tells Clyde to shut it and Clyde starts complaining at him for ruining the climax. I've spent the last few hours making some final preparations with the Dark Lord and his Chief Assassin around the fortress and their characters and relationship are actually pretty similar to what they are typically shown as in fanon (minus any shipping).

It's pretty nice being able to take a break and actually spend some time with some of my favorite South Park characters. I feel like I've definitely earned it after all the shit I've been through in the last few days. I fit right in with them and the three of us spent most of the time goofing off. Well, it's more like Clyde and I are goofing off while Craig is staring at us unamused.

"Dovah, can you bring that firework box over here?"

"Here?"

"Yeah, can you step forward slightly and then step to the left?"

"One hop this time!"

"HAhahahaha."

"You're so fucking lame."