How to Survive South Park

A New Beginning

Cartman's dead.

Eric Cartman is fucking dead.

Kenny and I watch in horror as Cartman's lifeless body falls to the floor.

'Timefart. Undo it. NOW!'

I take a few steps forward but Butters then screams at me, stopping me in my tracks.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT BRINGING THAT MONSTER BACK, DOVAH! I WON'T LET YOU!" Him charging at me is the last thing I see.

Kenny's POV:

Dovah is knocked out cold from one gigantic, lightning coated hit. His neck is then grabbed by Butters and I can't help but flash back to what happened with ManBearPig.

'Not. Fucking. AGAIN!' I rocket towards the traitor but instead of attacking him, I use a [Ghastly Grasp x Dark Whisper] to snatch Dovah out of his grasp.

"Nahkriin was a good start, but like a baton, that group's dream has been passed on to me."

"You dream, huh?" I ask.

'I have to buy time for Dovah to wake back up!'

"Are you talking about the whole point of this fucking invasion? How about you do us a solid and fill us in for future reference?"

"It's simple, really." Butters chuckles. "I was influenced by comics."

"How so?"

"Let me answer that question with another question. The villains are feared all over the world and probably all other worlds and dimensions too. Why do you think that is?" Butters asks smugly.

"Because they do bad things?" I answer back.

"And what would those be?" Where's he going with this?

"In this world full of countless cultures, values, twists, and turns, they are actions that are frowned upon and loathed by everyone. They are something that obstructs the future you envision. The future we all fear."

'Fuck. Don't tell me...'

"You see Ken, that's why I want to obstruct the future of this world."

That crazy fucking bastard.

"That's all. That's all I've ever wished for, Kenny. No need to worry about future seasons if they never happen, right? It's what you fellas did when Season 20 of South Park was coming around. It worked well enough then, so why not take it a few steps further?"

"You can't just slam on the brakes like that, Butters. You think a world under your heel would be any better then Tenorman or the Legion of Doom doing the same thing? You're just going to make everyone either miserable or dead. You think that's what Dougie would want you to do?"

Butters sighs at this and I start to feel some slight movement from Dovah. Good, it worked. I can't enact this plan without him. But with my portal gun to Imaginationland fried from his last attack... I'll just have to hope there's still at least one lying around that place.

"I really hoped you wou-" I cut him off with a Prominence Burn to the face and made a mad dash towards my destination with Dovah on my back.

I wish we didn't have to resort to this, but we have no choice. I can only hope that Dovah doesn't blame himself for what Butters is doing... and what I'm about to have him do.

Dovah's POV:

When I wake up, I immediately notice that I'm being carried on Kenny's back and he's running from an army of villains that are right behind us. We both are covered with injuries but nothing is too serious and being injured isn't anything new for us.