How to Survive South Park

Alternate Stick of Truth Part 1 - The Many Cuts of Truth

'What the fuck is going on right now?'

(("Theory: this timeline has aspects present in 'Stick of Truth' that were cut out from the game in your original reality.")) So this is basically a different set of events than the normal Stick of Truth which are based on removed content?

"Oh, fuck me gently with a chainsaw." I mutter quietly under my breath while Cartman waits for me to pick a class. This disappointment got old after the first 50 fucking time jumps.

(("Suggestion: Stay here and see if there is anything useful to add to the host. The game should end in a similar manner and most events in general should stay the same.")) You know what? You're right, this may be the chance to get some extra stuff for me and it should still end with New Kid becoming king. Might as well expand my horizons a bit.

'T.K, bring up all collected data on cut content for Stick of Truth. Fan pages, informational youtube videos, beta versions, whatever info I have randomly found over the years in my first life, make me remember it.'

(("Understood.")) Holy crap, there was a lot cut out of this game. There's no way I can do this all in three days; the game had to have originally lasted longer.

(("The game was originally supposed to be four days long. Also, the host could do all applicable quests in less than half a day if the host didn't hold back and used milk spawn.")) Last time I went haywire with my superpowers during Stick of Truth, T.K, I ended up on the villain's team.

(A/N: Chp 10 "May the Best Race (Elves) Win")

I need to play this story out like I'm supposed to if I want to get the correct ending, or at least part of it. According to intel I found in my last life, this game was actually supposed to go on for four days, but the New Kid still becomes king on Day 3 after defeating Clyde. Of course, making a few slight changes during those first three days wouldn't hurt.

Now as for Cartman, I'd blackmail him which would lead to one less annoying fatass for the entirety of this game, but I doubt that he'll even fit in the mail, so instead, I discreetly use Zarganor's powers to 'influence' Cartman a bit and inform him, "I'll pick mage and the name is Dovah."

"Very well, Dovah. But in order to become a member of the KKK, you must first prove yourself worthy of that honor. A great evil has slowly been rising up in the dark abyss of Kenny's basement."

A few angry muffles from Princess Kenny don't stop Cartman as he assigns me (aka New Kid) the first of the new quests present in this timeline, the 'Extermination' quest. What are we exterminating, you may ask? Hippies.

Lots and lots of hippies.

Hippies were supposed to be one of the main groups of enemies you find around South Park as you play the game (like random humans or elves depending on what side New Kid is currently on in the final cut). There were also a few parts of the main quest line where you hunt down and defeat groups of hippies alongside Cartman like this current quest.

The tutorial fight with Clyde seems to have been replaced with several tutorial fights against groups of hippies. It will take a hell of a lot longer than the former, but I guess the elves attack Kupa Keep later as a result since that still takes place in most of the early versions or 'builds' of the game.

I quickly summon my Netherborn cultist robes (without the hood or mask) for a mage costume which nobody questions and then head on over to Kenny's house with Cartman. Getting in isn't an issue since we're heading to the basement, not the garage, so no key needed.

Yes, that recruitment section for Tweek still happens. Kenny has drug dealers, homeless people, and now hippies also hanging around his house like they own the place. Poor kid... literally.