How to Survive South Park

Lovely Lovely Loopholes

"...I can feel it. The continuous increase in power isn't much, but I can definitely feel it." I confirm to T.K. as my fifth Mob Farm begins to run.

For anyone who doesn't know basic gaming terminology, a Mob Farm is a structure that is created or altered in order to acquire mob drops and exp easier as well as in larger numbers.

Need to grind materials for a new weapon or upgrade? Make a mob farm to save you a bunch of time. Need to power-grind another 50 levels? Just build one of these farms and let it run.

Freaking the fuck out because your entire budget disappeared in a matter of days thanks to an overzealous A.I? Well... you wanna answer this one, T.K?

(("Depends. You want this plan to work or not?"))

Misdirect, why don't you.

"But Dovah," You may be thinking. "Why would someone like you need a mob farm? Doesn't Imaginationland and P.T.K. let you get every basic recourse you could ever possibly need?"

Well, mostly. But that's for resources. The other main function of a mob farm, as mentioned previously, is getting exp from killing mobs faster.

But exp isn't a thing in the reality of South Park, right?

Sure, the concept is there in SOT and TFBW, but not in 'real life' South Park, right?

Well, no, but a handful of abilities in Phone Destroyer make for a wonderful replacement.

Buccaneer Bebe - Whenever she kills an enemy, her attack increases

Dwarf Engineer Dougie - +30 attack for every hit landed

Hunter Jimbo - Every attack blasts all enemies in front of him and gives +7 attack to the closest ranged ally

Robo Bebe - Whenever she kills an enemy, her speed increases

Bounty Hunter Kyle - whenever he hits an enemy, all allies get bonus attack; whenever he kills an enemy, all allies get healed

Scout Ike - gains energy (stamina) whenever he hits an enemy

Blood Elf bebe - max health increases whenever she kills an enemy; also gets a slight heal from doing that

You get the point. All these permanent buff abilities stack infinitely and the ones that give a specific number increase become a small percentage increase for me.

And by small, I mean small.

Like, I could kill thousands of enemies and the overall power increase (power in this case being a combination of strength, speed, energy, defense, etc) would barely be a small percentage of my original strength.

If there's any solace to those restrictions, it's that those abilities work on any enemies. They could be as weak as an Underpants Gnome or as powerful as Shub-Niggurath; the boost still stays the same, so might as well focus on grinding the former.

Morgan Freeman didn't make it easy, but I've become an expert in finding loopholes scattered around this reality overtime and this issue was no different.

So the obvious solution to this problem would be to go around to points in time where I know massive armies are gathered like Satan's army shown in season 9's "Best Friends Forever" and get increases in power that way, but I could just absorb them for a similar effect and that would take way too much time.