How to Survive South Park

Dealing with Dark Lords

Timmy's POV:

'I suppose he was right. It is a completely different experience seeing this in person.' I ponder to myself while watching the 25th Anniversary Concert of the show in Dovah's old world that's all about our own quiet little mountain town.

Kenny and Dovah haven't been the only ones training. I too have been pushing the limits of my telekinetic powers. My long term goal right now is to completely surpass the mental powers of the alien known as Zarganor that appears in the last DLC for the game 'South Park: The Fractured but Whole'.

In what we're referring to as canon, he takes over my mind shortly after he arrives along with Nathan and Mimsy and has us try to destroy the New Kid and his allies. Obviously, him doing this to me when I know so much would be a disaster so I intend to spare myself from that fate this time around.

One of the things I've learned how to do is invade the dreams of others through telepathy. I've taken a look at both Dovah's and Kenny's dreams out of curiosity and the latters are, well, not very appropriate to put it lightly.

Dovah's on the other hand are quite interesting as they sometimes revolve around his previous life. He doesn't like to talk about it much, even when the three of us are alone, but I can tell he still misses it to an extent.

This latest dream is about when he took a road trip to Colorado to watch "South Park: The 25th Anniversary Concert". I can't imagine what it was like for him to suddenly appear in a world that was nothing but a TV show in his old one. Well, I suppose I could now since I read his mind.

"The road ahead is filled with danger and fright, but push onward, Lemmiwinks, with all of your might!" The current song playing is "The Ballad of Lemmiwinks". It was quite an interesting tale. I regret not being there for his confrontation with Wikileaks since the eavesdropping little rat let the whole school know I rigged the last special olympics.

I continue watching the concert only for it to stop when Morgan Freeman suddenly walks up on stage.

"Listen to my heavenly voice and gaze upon my freckles. Congratulations, you've just been Freemaned." Everyone at the concert except Dovah seems to sway a bit before turning towards him.

"Now why don't we get the man of the hour up here. I have a prize ready and everything. You can trust me. I have a smooth voice." Dovah, or I suppose (y/n) is forced onto the stage where Freeman is.

"The hell? Let go of... ohhhh, this is a dream, isn't it?" He suddenly flips off Freeman and the audience.

"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you especially, Freeman. Fuck you, you two are cool (Matt Stone and Trey Parker), fuck you, and fuck you. Screw you guys, I'm going home." He then pinches himself and the dream ends.

"...Timmy? Why are you here?" Uh oh. Ummmm...

"Timmeh!" I then teleport away, leaving a confused Dovah behind.

Dovah's POV:

Apparently, I can now add Timmy to my latest list of stalkers. Good to know.

Anyway, it's currently July 2016 and Gerald just got into his trolling hobby. As for how to deal with him, we had Mysterion head over to his place and give him a little scare. Needless to say, he quit trolling for good that night.

Clyde has been non-stop complaining about wanting to do a take 2 of his dream 'Beach Episode' and the rest of us eventually relented but it wasn't much greater then the first one. He failed miserably with inviting the girls to come so it was the same crew as last time minus Nicole since she had a dentist appointment the day we went.