How to Survive South Park

The Final Nail Part 2

Dark Angel Red's POV:

This sudden breakout was certainly unexpected, but not exactly unwelcome. I had made a deal with several of the other terrors to help break us out after 6 months as that should be more than enough time for this shithole to slowly chip away at Dovah's mental barriers.

I never would have guessed that one of the others he's helped during his journey throughout the multiverse would go to such lengths to free him, nor would actually get the complete trust of T.K, but it worked out for the best. I could tell in an instant that this Wendy was completely devoted to him and would go along with whatever he said.

The Trapper Keepers and the power they gave her seem to have corrupted her quite a bit as well which makes only things that much easier. While I am a little miffed at having some competition for Dovah now, I suppose it's fine as long as she's useful enough in the end... which she most certainly is.

That and she knows her place, of course.

"Alright, listen up!" I bark while opening up all the other malfunctioning cells with a few feathers, letting the prisoners in them free. "Here's the plan. You're gonna start a riot, and we're gonna walk out the front door."

"I'll pass on that, Dr. Evil. Unless, of course, you perform a totally pointless and irrelevant rap and dance musical number." One of the other prisoners snarks back.

"No time for that! Now go! Go! Go!" I yell while shoving them towards the group of scared shitless time patrollers. It only takes a few murders on their end to send them all running for the hills. And this is while these prisoners are heavily weakened!

These people are decked out like they're from 'Tom Clancy's: The Division', yet this is their response? Has their brainwasher- I mean 'motivator' been slacking lately? It would certainly be in character for these guys.

'I see the Time Patrol is as useless as ever when it comes to doing literally anything. What kind of shitty emergency response is this? Chickens whose heads were just cut off have more control and self awareness than this!' I can't help but mentally complain despite these people being my enemies.

Yeah, it's bad enough to where even their greatest enemies see this as unacceptable.

See, the main reason I had every person working under me be shadowized until Dovah came along is that I could personally command/control them 24/7 and make sure they didn't act like complete dumbasses. Can you really blame me for that?

The trope of useless goons being, well, useless goons exists here too whether it be with Time Patrol grunts or Time Terror grunts or pretty much any kind of grunt or minion in the multiverse.

And that's just one of their maaaaaaany mistakes.

I even wrote a book about it in a rage-fueled frenzy a while back after one too many fuckups on us bad guys' end.

I call it: 101 Rules For Being A Competent Evil Overlord

I also blatantly copied 99% of it from the 'Evil Overlord List' from TV Tropes while swapping numbers for most of the rules listed and changing a few words in said rules. Yes, I know what copyright is. I'm also a fucking villain who doesn't give a shit so deal with it.

What can I say; disgrace is the only grace I know.

"IT'S THE DARK ANGEL! OPEN FIRE!!!" Screams a random buckethead grunt.

Rule 17: If your Legions of Terror have helmets, they will be ones with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones. On top of not being able to fucking see, enemies can easily disguise themselves with those things after knocking out a few grunts..