How to Survive South Park

A Happily Ever After Without Humanity

Good news and bad news. The good news is I managed to stall the ads until season 19, making their plan somewhat similar to what it was in canon. The bad news is there have been several unexpected developments which fucked the initial plan up a bit.

The first one is Cartman. He got his shit together after a couple months and became determined to find out what the hell was going on. I'm not sure how but he's learned at least a bit about Leslie and the ads. Ironically enough, he's been trying to help me by letting me know about them.

With Timmy around to secretly read his mind, I've been able to find out anything he's been planning and he seems to want me to find out what Leslie truly is. He's tried getting me alone several times but Leslie always stops him.

He's also tried sending texts and passing notes in class that say things like "Your Bitch Ain't Human!!!" or something along those lines but I pretend to not believe him in the slightest. Sorry Cartman, but I have my own plan and it's just a tad bit better than yours.

Leslie and I have been spending more and more time together to the point where my other friends have noticed. About a month ago, Timmy, Kenny, Jimmy and I reached out to Craig and Tolkien to have a secret meeting with them.

We pretty much told them what the deal with the ads is and how we're planning to stop them. I want to keep them in the loop because I know Leslie is trying to isolate me from everyone which I have to play along with. Now I want to stop the ads without ruining most of my friendships in the process so I convinced the others to get those two in the loop.

I'm basically asking them to play along and eventually stage a broship breakup with me right before the events of season 19 (not that they know that fact) and to continue building up to it until then. Craig complains that he warned me not to get involved with this shit but I argue back that I wasn't exactly able to refuse this like how he couldn't refuse the Peru thing.

I'm not telling Tweek and Clyde this however and that's because they are both awful at keeping secrets and couldn't act convincingly if their lives depended on it. Also, their reactions being genuine will make this look all the more real in the end.

Speaking of broship breakups, Kenny hasn't really made up with the rest of Team Stan yet and they may not ever make up at this rate. Around seasons 19-20 in the show, Kenny begins to drift away from the rest of the group, not really participating in many adventures.

They hang out a bit from time to time from then on but even in the season 22 finale, Kenny admits to feeling like he's disconnecting with the group when the team was preparing for the bike parade.

The broship fully breaks up in the Pandemic Special and it takes their future selves fucking with time to get them back together for season 25. Here however, Kenny has a completely different mindset and isn't willing to put up with the others' crap.

I remember asking him a while ago why he liked always having his hood up in the first place. He's a really attractive guy that girls have been going crazy over since he put it down. In fact, I'm pretty sure Craig's been dethroned as the hottest boy in the class with Kenny's latest changes.

Yes, I know practically every kid here looks the same but there are some slight differences besides the hair and outfits. There are the obvious things such as scars and freckles but a difference mainly limited to Kenny and I is muscles.

Remember Scott Malconson's ultimate in TFBW? Well, while our upper bodies aren't anywhere close to that level, all the hardcore training we've been doing has definitely helped with muscle mass a bit.

There's also "raisins" for girls like Bebe as the kids here refer to them as but I'd rather not get into that.

"It was the first warm thing my mom ever bought me. When I was little, the thing they call a house was always cold because Colorado and the heater was broken so mom went out to buy more clothing for us to wear around the house. Soon after I got it, the parka became a security blanket for me. I've had to get a few more since then due to me growing but I could never get rid of it."