How to Survive South Park

Insight, Hindsight, and Foresight Part 1

Dovah's POV:

Y'know, one of the things I've done the most since I was farted into this reality is look back at the path I took.

Every single step I took was important in its own way. Every choice I made, every action I took, every person I helped and saved or harmed and killed; it all shaped my second life in one way or another.

I've been pretty much everything I could be; a noble hero, a genocidal villain, and everything in between. And now, I'm ready to pass the spotlight on to someone else. Someone who deserves it more. Well, two people who deserve it more.

But I still have that hint of hesitation. And that's why I'm here.

Season 4 Episode 12, "4th Grade".

It's amazing just how many problems I can solve by traveling to a canon episode or game. This series has done so much, and I can use all of that for my own gain. It's what I've always done, right?

"Hopefully this thing isn't Garrison exclusive." I mutter to myself as I walk up to the Tree of Insight.

In case the name doesn't make it obvious, this thing is a giant tree that sort of works like Yoda's force cave in Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. If you enter the tree, you'll see visions and illusions that will give you some much needed insight.

Garrison found this random plot device- I mean natural phenomenon during the previously mentioned episode and only he and Ms. Choksondik (the teacher that took over for Garrison when he left during the show's early seasons) have been shown entering the thing.

The thing worked for Garrison, but it didn't work for Choksondik. That's 50/50 odds right there. Worst case scenario, I'll just chow down on the tree and force a major plot-altering revelation that way.

"T.K, be on the lookout for anything strange."

(("Understood, Captain Obvious.")) I roll my eyes at my partner's witty remark and head inside.

"...Hello? Any visions or spirits in here? C'mon, I have two lives in two different realities and a shitload of issues to unpack; you have to give me something, tree!" I call out, but the opening I walked through isn't closing and T.K. isn't picking up anything either.

The next few minutes are spent futzing around, trying to find whatever the hell turns this thing on, but no luck.

(("Did you try working the shaft?"))

'Very funny, binder.'

Another few minutes are spent waiting around for something, anything to happen, but nope. Nothing. Nada.

"This is bullshit." I then mutter after giving a long, drawn out sigh. "I wasn't kidding about absorbing you if you end up being a dud."

"Were you not going to do that anyway, hmmm?" A condescending voice asks and I don't even need to look over to see who said voice belongs to.

"Well look who finally decided to visit. It's been a while, Reality." The omniscient who looks like a supervillian from the 1960s makes his appearance and I turn to face him.

"Considering that the entrance never closed, I'm gonna guess that this isn't the tree's doing." I confirm.

"It's not the tree that has problems here. You're simply too powerful now for its nature to take effect." He answers. "Pretty impressive for a mortal."

Well, that sucks. But it's not like I don't have other (albeit worse) options.

I also considered going to the 'Meditative Chamber' shown in the Church during TFBW instead of relying on the tree. Then I remembered the fight that takes place there in-game.