How to Survive South Park

Alternate Stick of Truth Part 8 - Night of the Living German Dead

A little while after I fought the remaining underground factions, I got a message from Kyle and Cartman that their bases were under attack by Clyde's forces as they themselves were getting ready to attack him. It happened a bit later than the first time though that's probably thanks to me being basically everywhere except the human and elf kingdoms this time around.

I head back on over to deal with Dark Lord Clyde for the second time in this timeline and I'm much more reserved this time around as I already had my fun going on a rampage through his forces.

This section was surprisingly similar to canon only with much less Nazi Zombies and many more regular kids under Clyde's command. We have to fight our way to the fortress and traverse it like in the 'canon' version of events with even Craig's bossfight being the same except for one major detail: there were no Nazi Zombie Cows backing up the chief assassin this time.

I didn't even notice that the first time around as I originally thought that Craig just didn't bring any up yet but nope, they were never there to begin with in this timeline's version of events.

Side note, Craig actually started wearing his canon SOT outfit when he joined Clyde as his chief assassin at the end of day 2. Tweek also decided to swap classes and started wearing his canon Barbarian SOT outfit a bit before this battle started (which may or may not have been suggested by me).

"I'm now a level 14 thief AND the Dark Lord's chief assassin, and... what the fuck are you wearing, Tweek?"

"I changed classes, you- ACk, traitor!"

"Since when is 'Retarded Zebra' a class?"

"Shut the fuck up! What kind of name is 'Feldspar' anyway?" Tweek retorts while punching Craig in the face.

'Good question. T.K?'

(("Feldspar is a group of terrestrial minerals that form into rocks. Very plain, boring rocks.")) Huh. Sounds pretty fitting for Craig Tucker if you ask me.

"Feldspar is the mineral shit that forms rocks." I tell Tweek.

"Oh, well- aah! Figures that you would name yourself something so boring, Craig."

"Shut up, zebra."

"I'M A FUCKING BARBARIAN, YOU ASS!" It's the TFBW civil war all over again.

(("Reminder: That hasn't happened yet in this timeline.")) You know what I mean!

After leaving Tweek and Craig to their fight, we headed up to Clyde's throne room. Chef wasn't around either and Clyde once again fights us himself, but gets dogpiled by me, Cartman, Kyle, Stan (who is still slightly injured from Wendy's beatdown yesterday), Kenny, Butters, and Jimmy.

We defeat Clyde while Tweek defeats Craig and we get the stick back with the government not showing up and Kenny not betraying everybody. That's because both of those things were originally supposed to happen later.

I mentioned before that Stick of Truth was originally 4 days instead of 3 which makes sense considering all this extra stuff that was supposed to be present. Defeating the Dark Lord doesn't lead to the final boss in this version.

After taking down Clyde, New Kid gets promoted to king (much like in canon) and is handed the Stick of Truth in order to stop the humans and elves from fighting again. The stick doesn't get thrown into Stark's Pond this time around.

He then heads home (with the battle ending much earlier than in the final cut) and goes to bed only to be kidnapped by the government guys that were originally supposed to show up at Clyde's fortress.