How to Survive South Park

Overkill, Or Just The Right Amount Of Kill?

The procedure was completed. At long fucking last.

Wires and other medical machinery were disconnected, all the liquid was drained out of my pod, and I finally 'hatched' for lack of a better term.

...Before nearly blowing up the entire facility I was in on accident.

T.K. is still giving me shit for that.

I hadn't changed a lot... on the outside, anyway. I still have that animated-looking bishounen body and bright white hair, the specific shade of which I can't bother to remember right now.

Every box in my ridiculously long to-do list has been checked, everything in the procedure itself went either according to or beyond expectations, and there were zero interruptions throughout my latest metamorphosis, just as planned.

Thank you, plot and Morgan Freeman, for not fucking me over this time.

The uncontrolled burst of energy I emitted after 'hatching' pretty much demolished the entire Dragon Lair I was in and probably would've made most of the multiverse tremble from its weight and intensity, but I had no intentions of announcing my return just yet.

T.K. and I made sure to put energy-containing measures all over that Dragon Lair just in case (which did their job, albeit barely considering how much power I have now). He was still pretty pissed off about the close call, and still continues to give me shit for it despite how likely that accident was going to occur, but I could tell he was happy that I was alright.

He still refuses to tell me how long the procedure took, but I won't push it. I know how much loneliness can suck and how much it means to have someone you can be genuinely open with, especially when you have as many secrets as T.K. and I do.

It didn't take long to get used to this new body. All that knowledge regarding my powers and so much more was imprinted in my head while I was in that medically-induced coma and my ridiculous adaptability allowed both my body and soul to get used to everything all throughout the process.

I only had to quickly double-check a few things regarding the very long list of changes and optimizations done to me, and now that I have a handle on my new, practically limitless amounts of power, I intended to keep it hidden and contained until my own take on D-Day which is coming very, very soon.

And after ensuring that there were no unexpected complications with my latest evolution and everything was good to go, I used my nearly almighty amounts of power to... make some chocolate chip waffles a little faster.

I still have two little sisters to take care of, okay?

And yes, I can just summon some waffles out of thin air or turn other random shit into waffles Majin Buu style, but doing so lacks the personal touch of making them properly. I don't half-ass my time and effort when it comes to the people I love like some people.

*cough* Stan. *cough* ChatGPT. *cough* *cough*

(A/N: Season 26 Episode 4 "Deep Learning")

Yeah, I was able to learn a good bit more about the future events of canon South Park during this latest and greatest round of preparations. While I can't confirm it without talking to another otherworlder that came here later in time than I did or by going back to my old reality, I'm 90% sure that I know all the events that happen in the next few seasons and specials.

That includes the introduction of a certain stone that Disney has locked away; a stone I made sure to get several of in preparation for my ascension (and plenty more for the EOD).