Better Not Be Love

CHAPTER 11 - TEASING YOU

"I am going to puke if you two start kissing."

Eugene jerked from his position and drew away from me as if I were a predator going to devour him alive; however, I didn't let go of his wrist. Instead, I removed the leaf from his unkempt hair and gently blew it into the river, causing it to float.

"I was just tidying him up."

I stated firmly, my gaze fixated on Eugene and oblivious to Carla's blue eyes penetrating us. He was looking everywhere else but me and readjusted his hair absentmindedly.

"Good for me then. Everyone's leaving. Aren't you guys coming?"

Eugene nodded at Carla, still disoriented, and rose from the rock, patting his knees to remove sand that had been stuck because of the dampness. I also helped myself up and picked up the plastic containers to throw away later. I took his as well, since he appeared to be too dazed to notice his surroundings.

Clara must also have sensed his discomfort as she swung her arm over Eugene's shoulder and tugged him close before whisper-yelling into his ear.

"Don't fall for her, kiddo. She doesn't date."

"I can hear you, you know."

I trailed behind them, offended. Carla simply flipped her hair, throwing me her signature smirk. I couldn't see what Eugene's expression was, but from his tense shoulders, I knew that she was just rubbing salt into the wound. Yet, I am glad she mentioned that. It is true. I do not date. But I get this strange feeling every time Eugene's around, and I can't let it go on. I am convinced that after I sleep with him, I will forget about him and be able to move on from these bizarre impulses.

I am not sure whether I made the right decision by practically asking him to sleep with me, but the damage had already been done. I am positive that if a man had posed the exact question to a woman, it might have been considered inappropriate and would have stirred a major scandal. Will he complain about me? And wasn't I being a little too straightforward? Perhaps I should have checked first if he harbored feelings for me. He was cordial to everyone, not only me, and nothing he did indicated that he regarded me in that light. What the hell was I thinking?

But do I feel bad for asking him that? No, absolutely not.

The journey was silent as Carla fell asleep on the way back, and I just plugged in my earbuds and listened to nothing. I assumed Eugene would need some time to think over my proposal, and I was prepared to give him just about enough. Maybe until I finish bleeding this month.

"Thank you."

Carla grumbled groggily as she grabbed her handbag and stepped out of the vehicle, wobbling her way to her house. It was almost nighttime, and everyone was hurrying inside to get some rest.

When the car came to a halt in front of my place, I didn't get out right away; instead, I opened the door and stayed in that position with my feet dangling outside. I was struggling to come up with the appropriate words to say to him, but my vocabulary didn't seem to be at its best right then.

"It's alright. I figured you were just messing with me. You don't have to feel embarrassed about it. Haha."

The laugh was so artificial that I literally laughed out loud. God, he was really adorable. The street lamb lit up his eyes, which still refused to look at me.

"What made you believe I was messing with you?"

I inquired, my boldness gradually regaining its former posture.

Eugene shrugged and turned to face me. There was that sparkle in his orbs that I always found fascinating, but it was now tinged with timidity. Despite his callous demeanor, my penetrating gaze was clearly affecting him.

"I know you don't date or sleep with just anyone. I must admit that I was taken aback at first. But, now that I think about it, I should have known you were toying with me. You are not the sort to go around asking random people to spend a night with you."

He was so confident in himself that I couldn't help but laugh again. It was pretty humorous that he had such high expectations of me when, in fact, he didn't even know who I really was.

"I don't date, Eugene, and I definitely don't sleep around."

He had that 'I told you so' expression on his face that I couldn't wait to replace. My smirk remained on my lips as I continued.

"However, I am serious about you. I would like you to sleep with me."

Eugene was motionless for a brief moment before bursting out with laughter.

"You should really consider acting. I am sure you have a promising future."

He kept laughing until he realized I wasn't joining in. It was entertaining to watch his laugh dwindle by the second, till he got this incomprehensible look where he seemed both confused and uncomfortable.

"Why?"

It was hardly audible, just above a whisper, yet I heard it vividly.

I sighed and fiddled with the hemline of my hoodie.

"I do not know if putting my reasoning into words would make any sense to you, but here's the thing: I am attracted to you, alright. I can't get you out of my head ever since the day you saw me cry. It is crazy, since I have never felt this way before. Given that I am incapable of loving someone, the only other reasonable explanation is that I am sexually drawn to you. When you are around, I can't concentrate on anything. I realize I am being a jerk and behaving like a slut right now, but I am just being honest. If you are not interested, then just say so. I understand."

There! I said it. I said it all. I didn't want to go around in circles and confuse things further, and by the expression on his face, I knew he grasped it. He was drumming on the steering wheel, something I realized he did when he was deep in thought.

"So, you think once you sleep with me, you won't be attracted to me anymore?"

Eugene wondered aloud, his gaze concentrated on the smiley face hanging from the front mirror. Finally, we are talking. My heart rate increased as I expected him to reject me and call me a filthy woman.

"But what if it doesn't work? What if you desire more after one night?"

I chuckled and shook my hands animatedly as I got out of the automobile. My legs were feeling numb from the cramped posture.

"Trust me, it isn't the case."

I was leaning down towards the passenger side to get a better glimpse of him through the open window. He wasn't looking at me, but rather ahead at the now bustling road.

"You don't sleep around. And yet, here we are."

He muttered, and he had a point. A point with which I didn't want to agree, but I knew better than that.

"No way, Eugene. I will never desire more. I can never have more."

I bit my tongue in frustration as the final words spilled out, well before I realized it. He must have caught my slip of the tongue because he looked at me with penetrating brown eyes.

"In any case, think about it. I will see you tomorrow."

Without waiting for an answer, I waved him bye and walked briskly to my house. A minute or two later, I peeked out my living room window to check if he was still there, but all I saw was an empty road.

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