Better Not Be Love

CHAPTER 31 - ROLE SHIFT

As I sat beside Nathaniel, my mind drifted away like a lost kite, unable to grasp the concept he was explaining about the next scene. My nods resembled those of a robotic figure, devoid of understanding or enthusiasm. However, amidst my turmoil, one sentence resonated persistently in my head like a catchy tune on repeat: "Friends with benefits."

Yesterday, I was taken aback by his sudden declaration, but then I playfully hit his arm, asking him to stop joking around. I expected a lighthearted response, but his unyielding expression remained unwaveringly serious. A shiver ran down my spine as I realized there was something far more profound lurking beneath that look on his face. Just three words, and he has turned my common sense upside down.

After he bid farewell last night, sleep eluded me entirely. I found myself consumed with dissecting every word he uttered and contemplating the ideal course of action. The temptation to confront him with my perplexing thoughts soared within me. But let's be real here, I wasn't about to become a sudden angel of virtue and implore him to reconsider. He had sparked a restless fire deep within, and I desired him badly, making the type of relationship we would share of little consequence. In truth, a friends-with-benefits arrangement appeared to suit us both splendidly. No obligations, no restrictions; we could indulge in our desires freely. Nonetheless, what puzzled me greatly was the sudden transformation within him. After this whole time of him being against the idea, he suddenly expressed an eagerness to sleep with me. It made my thoughts swirl with skepticism—could it be based on the fact that I am a virgin? The notion unsettled me, so much so that I longed to have a direct conversation with him about it. However, fear held me back as I pondered anxiously over what he would truly think of me if I dared to speak up.

"Do you think it would be better if we put the camera in the corner or somewhere else?"

I swiftly blinked my eyes and brought myself back to the present. Varun's and Nathaniel's expectant gazes locked with mine, waiting for me to answer them. My focus shifted to the meticulously detailed script pages laid out before me, trying to analyze which scene he was talking about exactly.

"Maybe we should get an aerial view first and then close in on the godown. This would illustrate the feeling of helplessness and despair that she experiences, emphasizing that she has no one to turn to for assistance."

In a desperate attempt to salvage any remnants of ignorance, I spoke confidently, hoping that they would somehow align with the current scene we were discussing. The thought of being caught up in distraction once again sent waves of discomfort through me. Throughout this entire production, it felt as if I were wearing a mask, struggling to keep my personal emotions from seeping into my work. I am trying not to, but I couldn't help it. I reminded myself that I was only human, and sometimes vulnerability was inevitable.

"I like it. Do you think that's a good idea too, Varun?"

After giving it some thought, Nathaniel inquired of Varun and smiled when the latter offered his consent. And so it was resolved.

The production crew required half an hour to set up the camera, allowing me to snatch a moment of respite. Impatient to refresh both my body and mind, I gravitated towards the portable washroom, and as the cool water cascaded over my face, I sighed in contentment. The biting coldness pulled me back to reality, and I groaned as I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, noticing my dark eyes and tired face staring back at me. However, a glimpse of excitement flickered behind those weary eyes. Not knowing what Eugene had in mind or what was going to happen between us after last night pushed me to the precipice of anticipation and impatience. The click of the door resonated as I exited the cubicle, only to be startled when a towel materialized before me, seemingly out of thin air.

"Sorry! Did I hit you?"

With a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, Eugene leaned forward and couldn't contain his amusement any longer, causing a delightful ripple of laughter to fill the area. I stood frozen in astonishment, my hand instinctively pressing against my chest, still trying to come down from my shock. I clung on to the white towel and glared at the person standing in front of me.