dear diary | minsung

17

20/9/2014

dear diary,
fuck my life. i wish i died at birth this is too much for me to actually handle. things aren't getting any better and it's so fucking frustrating. i broke down today at school because what was going on at home and i really couldn't control anything snd ended up getting an anxiety attack. i couldn't handle shit so i told everything to seungkwan, even cried so much and now i feel horrible for just simply venting to a friend. he was so understanding but i feel like im just being a horrible friend by burdening my thoughts on him. im at his house, in his room right now, he's in the bathroom and the ac is on.

okay well he came out and just gave me a massive smack on my head for writing here about me being a burden to him and told me im not a burden to him, what did i do in my past life to meet such an amazing person. i love him so much ugh. i hate what happened this morning and last night at home. i wish i could escape reality and just stay there for sometime before i can come back to harsh reality. i grew up too fast and i cant handle it anymore. i hate being the only child, i hate everything. i feel like im such a burden to eomma and appa because of all my needs as a teenager. its been so difficult for them to provide for me and i feel like im the cause of everything. im at my breaking point. i feel like crying again, be right back

- love, min

--|--

seungkwan stood there, hugging a crying minho and comforting him. they hadn't been friends for long but he knew he needed someone to comfort the male since he had pretty much no one else to talk to other than changbin, who was out of station. it was difficult for him to see someone who he adored so much be so broken and be so vulnerable to him. he hugged the younger tighter and rubbed his back to calm his broken cries of help.

"i can't handle this much more, kwan. it's been going on for too many years."

these were the last words minho whispered before he broke into another anxiety attack.

and seungkwan tried. he'd tried his best.