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25/10/2018

dear diary,
OKAY I KEEP FUCKING FORGETTING TO UPDATE THIS DIARY AND ITS BEEN ONE FUCKING YEAR SINCE I WROTE SOMETHING ON HERE AND ALL OF A SUDDEN NOW IM TWENTY YEARS OLD IN MY SECOND YEAR OF UNIVERSITY, ALMOST THIRD YEAR WHAT THE FUCK. i have so much to spill about whatever the fuck happened this whole one year.

SO, i got over jisung somehow and then got into a relationship. it was with a guy named yuta for a good six months until we broke up. haha funny. no. ultimate minho death. yea it fucked with my mental health until i started liking jisung all over the fuck again. a whole nother cycle. today my besties (seonghwa is now my bestiee <33) bought me a strawberry cake forced me to cut it  because it's my birthday, i love them so much. this gremlin of a mingyu became close friends with jisung AND COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT MY EXISTENCE UNTIL WONU REMINDED HIM OF ME.

i haven't seen him in over a year though and i honestly kinda miss him :(( look at me lmao, i don't even fucking know him and  yet i still miss him so much. and yes honestly speaking, yuta deserved SO MUCH better than me so yea. anyways, back to my jisung soft hours even though idk wtf he is up to rn.

i know for a fact that right now my mental health is so fucked and the only things that have me hanging on a flimsy string are my three cats and my four friends and that's it. life has fucked with my mental health too much and im so done with it, im like this close to ending everything. uni stress, and just me having no self esteem at all. my life is a mess i wanna cry but i can't, it's so fucking shitty. im going to go eat something, it's one in the fucking morning and my insomnia is acting up.

- love, min.

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my mental health is so fucked up

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